Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: A group of four college friends stop at a remote village while touring Ireland. When they are told about a little-known historic landmark, they accept an offer to stay the night so they can hike to see it the next day. What they don't know is the cabin they are invited to stay in is actually a cell and they are being sacrificed to a leprechaun that has terrorized the village ever since they stole its gold. Who's in it? The movie stars Dylan Postl, Stephanie Bennett , Andrew Dunbar, Melissa Roxburgh, Brendan Fletcher, Teach Grant and Garry Chalk . Review: To be honest, I had purposely avoided watching Leprechaun: Origins despite plenty of opportunities to do so. This was primarily because it was produced by World Wrestling Entertainment as a vehicle for a wrestler (Postl) whose gimmick was to play a leprechaun in the ring. That combination, frankly, sounded awful. However, the movie my wife and I originally planned to watch last night turned out to be so bad, I coul...

Synopsis: An apartment building manager and his two friends check up on an elderly scientist who is behind on his rent and discover a machine that has been taking photographs of their apartment and showing scenes that take place 24 hours into the future. After learning the scientist is now deceased, they decide to pretend he is still alive and use the machine to make money. Their plan works. However, the stress of having to pose exactly like the photos show (or risk the consequences of stopping their timeline) and various other obstacles quickly begin to take their toll. Who's in it? The movie stars Danielle Panabaker , Matt O’Leary, George Finn, Amin Joseph and Jason Spisak. Review: I came across Time Lapse a couple nights ago and even though I had seen it before, I couldn't remember it and decided to give it another watch. I have to admit it was better than I expected. The thing I found I liked best about this film was the overall mystery. At first, the premise seemed simp...

Synopsis: Laine Morris doesn't believe her best friend, Debbie, killed herself and convinces both her sister and a group of friends to use Debbie's Ouija board to contact her from beyond the grave. However, instead of contacting Debbie, they inadvertently awaken the evil presence that killed her. Who's in it?   The movie stars Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Darren Kagasoff, Bianca Santos and Shelley Hennig. Review:  I've seen Ouija before, but I couldn't remember a whole lot about the movie, other than I didn't like it all that much. When I came across it again, I decided (as I sometimes do) to give it a second chance. My opinion of it was the same as I remembered. I think the main problem with this film is it tends to drag things out a little bit too much. Other than a couple jump scares, the movie just lacked any real action or urgency with much more buildup than was necessary to justify the very little that happened.  As a result of that, this film was just dull....

Synopsis: Even though his 8-year-old daughter, Noel, loves spending time with him, truck driver Larry Phillips is fearful her wealthy new stepdad, Victor, will eventually steal her away. Hoping the perfect Christmas gift will prevent that from happening, Larry reads Noel's letter to Santa and is determined to buy her the Harrison Bear she wants. However, Victor, who doesn't like the idea of coming in second to Larry, finds out about his plan and hires a henchman, Welling, to buy out all the bears first. Who's in it? The movie stars Larry the Cable Guy , Brian Stepanek, Eric Breker, Kennedi Clements and Lauren K. Robek. Review: I had completely forgotten someone made a sequel to the 1996 movie Jingle All the Way until my wife and I came across Jingle All the Way 2 yesterday afternoon. I wasn't really expecting a whole lot from this movie when we first started watching it and, as it turns out, those lowered expectations were justified. I'm not going to say this i...

Synopsis: A killer in a bunny costume murders anyone he encounters while his partner in crime, Joe, disposes of the bodies by turning them into jerky for his convenience store. When a group of women go hiking in the nearby woods, they become the Bunnyman and Joe’s latest targets and must find a way to escape before they are raped, tortured and killed by the pair. Who's in it? The movie stars David Scott, Joshua Lang, Marshal Hilton, Heather Daley, Kate Bowen, Stefanie Estes and Julianne Dowler. Review: One of the main reasons I am a fan of slasher movies is even the bad ones usually prove to be reasonably entertaining, even if it's in a comical way. As a result of that, when I came across The Bunnyman Massacre, I figured it would fall into that category. Unfortunately, I was wrong. This is just a terrible film, even for the genre. To be fair, this film is a sequel to the 2011 movie Bunnyman which I have not seen. I did take that into account when I watched this movie and di...

Synopsis: Egyptologist Jack Wells is hired to join a team of archaeologists as they travel to a tomb of Egyptian King Neferu, known in Egyptian mythology as "the cursed king." While the rest of the team is there to both learn more about the tomb and figure out what happened to its now-missing discoverer, Jack's employer, Carl, wants him to locate and steal a large diamond known as the Codex Stone. Neither task is easy, both because of the dangers along their journey and the reanimated mummy of King Neferu. Who's in it? The movie stars William McNamara, Danny Glover , Andrea Monier, Michael Cortez and Eric D. Young. Review: My wife was still recovering from her mini vacation yesterday and I was recovering from mowing the lawn in hot/humid weather so, rather than trying to agree on a movie, I just picked out Day of the Mummy because it had been in my movie library for several weeks. That, and I figured "it's a mummy movie, so it can't be that bad." ...

Synopsis: Boston hardware store employee Robert "Bob" McCall is beloved by his coworkers but never discusses his violent past. Due to insomnia, Bob frequents an all-night diner, where he drinks tea and reads books. While there, he befriends Alina, a 17-year-old who is being sex trafficked by members of the Russian mafia. When Alina is severely beaten and hospitalized, Bob attempts to buy her freedom. When his peaceful offer is rejected, he sets aside a vow he made to his late wife and returns to his violent ways to both assist Alina and the mafia's other local victims. Who's in it? The movie stars Denzel Washington , Chloë Grace Moretz , Martin Csokas , David Harbour and Haley Bennett . Review: Since I've never been a fan of the 1980s television series it was based on, I had never taken the time to watch The Equalizer in the more than a decade it has been out. However, after scrolling through several movies last night and being unable to settle on one with my...

Synopsis: While driving to Los Angeles with her fiancé, Kevin, aspiring actress Monica stops in Houston, Texas to visit her father and learns he is dying from cancer.  Wanting to make sure her dad is as comfortable as possible in his final weeks; Monica agrees to pay the hospital expenses but soon discovers the only way to make the money they need is as an exotic dancer. Kevin reluctantly agrees and Monica is soon bringing in hundreds of dollars per night. However, as she forms a bond with one of her patrons, Chicago, jealousy and suspicion begin to tear the young couple apart. Who's in it? The movie stars Ali Cobrin , Robert Hoffman , Datari Turner , Carmen Electra and Briana Evigan. Review: My wife and I were a bit wiped out after our day trip yesterday and as we sat down on the couch with dinner, I wound up picking out the movie Lap Dance simply because it was the first film I came across. While I had some doubts about the film at first, it ended up being a surprisingly goo...

Synopsis: After having a breakdown on Mother's Day, hardworking stay-at-home mom Allyson Field decides to have a night out with her friends Izzy and Sondra, something her husband, Sean, encourages. However, things don't go quite as planned for Allyson after her dinner reservations are mixed up and her sister's baby gets misplaced, leading to an adventure that results in the women getting thrown in jail. Meanwhile, Sean and the other fathers are facing challenges of their own with their kids. Who's in it? The movie stars Sarah Drew , Sean Astin , Patricia Heaton , Trace Adkins and Abbie Cobb . Review: I came across Moms' Night Out on one of our movie channels last night and since it seemed like the kind of movie my wife might like, we ended up watching it. At first, I wasn't sure what I'd think of it but it turned out to be an enjoyable film. I think there are things in this movie just about any parent (mom or dad) can relate to when it comes to raising...

Synopsis: Not long after the original sharktopus was destroyed its offspring is living in an aquarium, where biologist Lorena is attempting to figure out a way to control its aggressive nature. When a scientist creates another hybrid, combining pterodactyl DNA with a barracuda, only to have the experiment fall under the control of a hacker, he attempts to hijack the sharktopus to fight it, only to unleash two terrors in the ocean. Who's in it? The movie stars Robert Carradine , Rib Hillis , Katie Savoy , Akari Endo and Hensy Pichardo. Review: My wife and I enjoyed Sharktopus more than expected, enough for me to be interested in seeing the sequel, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda . We finally watched it tonight and not to sound a bit too much like my teenage daughter, thought it was just "meh." Sharktopus wasn't a great movie, just better than expected. As a result, my expectations for this sequel weren't set very high. However, even then, it failed to meet them.  My ...

Synopsis: After catching his girlfriend cheating on him with his friend Billy, professional wrestler Shane Douglas gets angry and later accidentally kills Billy in the ring with a botched piledriver. Six weeks later, he is given the opportunity to make money as part of a wrestling show at a prison. However, the event is really an elaborate revenge plot by Billy's brother, Angus, who has filled the prison with zombies. Shane and his fellow wrestlers soon find themselves fighting for survival. Who's in it? The movie stars Shane Douglas , Roddy Piper , Jim Duggan , Adrienne Fischer and Ashton Amherst. Review: When I first heard about Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies , I thought it was some sort of internet prank and was surprised when I came across the movie on Amazon Prime. I had a ton of doubts about this film but have always loved Roddy Piper as a movie star and decided to watch it with my wife last night.  Overall, I have to say it wasn't the worst zombie movie I've seen. ...

Synopsis: Aspiring novelist Clint takes a substitute teacher job at his hometown elementary school the day after contaminated chicken nuggets were served for lunch. His bad first day turns worse when one of his students bites a classmate and the school quickly becomes infected with a virus that turns the students into flesh-eating zombies. Who's in it? The movie stars Elijah Wood , Rainn Wilson , Alison Pill , Jack McBrayer and Cooper Roth . Review: This has been a movie my wife has wanted to see since watching a trailer for it a couple years ago. Part of this is because she's a teacher's assistant and could relate to some of the things she saw, and the other is we both enjoy a good zombie movie. We finally had a chance to watch it tonight and weren't disappointed. This is one of those movies that could have been very bad. I say that because the disease only affected kids and that meant, to survive, the heroes would need to kill kids. In an era with school violence,...

Synopsis: An archaeology team discovers a large, forgotten pyramid in Egypt and ignoring orders to abandon the site because of civil unrest in the country, enters the structure in an effort to recover a lost exploratory robot. This proves to be a mistake when they get lost inside the pyramid and quickly learn they are not alone. Who's in it?  The movie stars Ashley Hinshaw , Denis O'Hare , James Buckley , Christa Nicola and Philip Shelley. You can read my review here:  Movie Review: The Pyramid (2014) (wizzley.com)

Synopsis : After totaling her car, losing her job and discovering her husband's affair over the course of a few hours, Tammy decides to leave town in her grandmother's car. There's just one catch, her alcoholic grandmother insists on going with her and, as a result, both end up getting in trouble with the law. Who's in it?  The movie stars Melissa McCarthy , Susan Sarandon , Kathy Bates , Allison Janney and Mark Duplass. You can read my review here:  Movie Review: Tammy (2014) (wizzley.com)

Synopsis: When he learns the fracking company he works for is behind a series of mini quakes in the Los Angeles area, an engineer hurries to rescue his estranged wife and daughter before trying to stop his boss from starting up a new fracking location, one that will cause a massive earthquake that will destroy the city. Who's in it?  The movie stars Henry Ian Cusick , Chasty Ballesteros , Cameron Richardson , Jeffrey Jones and Kristen Dalton. You can read my review here:  Movie Review: 10.0 Earthquake (2014) (wizzley.com)

Synopsis: On the day of Dan and Skyler's wedding, millions around the world suddenly drop dead without warning and a series of other Biblical events point to the Rapture. Taking refuge in a church the newlyweds and their friends are forced to examine their life's choices and their faith in God. Who's in it? The movie stars Johnny Pacar , Shaun Sipos , Alexa PenaVega , Bryan Dechart and Italia Ricci. Review: I came across this film on one of my movie channels this evening and since my wife and I were about to sit down and have some dinner, decided to watch it. It ended up being an OK choice but did leave me wanting more. The main problem with movies like this in general is they are advertised as horror films but tend to feel a bit too much like a recruitment commercial for the Christian Church instead. This movie was no exception. I think the movie had potential to be memorable had it spend a bit more time focusing on the Rapture itself. However, other than brief glimpse...

Synopsis: Shortly after celebrating their first wedding anniversary, former secretary of state Henry Parker and his successful attorney wife, Sunday O'Brien-Parker, must dig into their past to figure out who kidnapped their parents and is now demanding the release of a notorious hitman as ransom. Who's in it? The movie stars Rachel Blanchard , Cameron Mathison , Steve Bacic , Vincent Gale and Jack Wagner . Review : My sleep was interrupted by a surprise visit from a bat in our house and, since we failed to chase it out the door (we still don't know where it is hiding), I wound up staying up, just in case it returned, and I needed to keep the cats away. I've had this Hallmark "thriller" in my movie library for a couple weeks and decided to watch it as a result. Unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I hoped. On the surface, I feel like this movie could have had a lot of potential. The main plot is somewhat intriguing and, as I've said before, I do love ...

Synopsis: When a series of burglaries in an upper-class neighborhood leaves the police baffled, an ambitious detective, Mike Logan, convinces his chief to let him go undercover as a nanny. While he has a rough start, Mike quickly figures out the nanny role and even befriends Jessica White, the attractive nanny across the street. However, he makes no progress stopping the burglaries and finds his career in jeopardy when the family he is working for is also robbed. Who's in it? The movie stars Cameron Mathison , Sarah Lancaster , Valin Shinyei , Jena Skodje and Leah Cairns . Review: Even though I've had my doubts in the past, I am willing to admit I have enjoyed most Hallmark movies more than expected and, because of that, I proactively added this film to our movie library. My wife and I watched it last night and, unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. The premise itself isn't a bad one, though other films have done something similar. I'll also a...

Synopsis: After losing her husband to cancer on Christmas Day, Gina, a mother of two boys, is still grieving when she befriends Michael, a father of three who lost his wife to cancer just a couple weeks later. Deciding to help their collective five children overcome their loss together, Gina and Michael eventually develop feelings for each other but, partly because of the scrutiny they are receiving from other people, question whether it is too soon to love again. Who's in it? The movie stars Lacey Chabert , Warren Christie , Lisa Durupt , Alex Zahara and Alison Thornton. Review: My wife and I started watching this movie some time ago but, for multiple reasons, never got around to finishing it. So, when I came across it again in my library last night, I decided to see how it ended. At first, I wasn't sure if I would like this film but, after seeing it in its entirety, I do have to say it was worth my time. I think the thing that really surprised me about this movie was the ...

Synopsis: Firefighter Zachary has a good life. He is liked by his peers, people think of him as a hero, he has a successful side business flipping homes and he dates models. He also has no interest in a long-term relationship. At least until he adopts a stray cat and meets a veterinary student, Marilee. Who's in it? The movie stars Brandon Routh , Kimberley Sustad , Chelsea Hobbs , Stephanie Bennett and Sean Tyson . Review: Even though I wasn't a big fan of this movie's sequel,  The Nine Kittens of Christmas , there were some elements in that movie that made me interested in at least giving this film a chance. Even then, I had some serious doubts about it. As it turns out, however, we ended up enjoying it more than expected. I think the thing I liked best about this film was the way Zachary's (Routh) relationship with Marilee (Sustad) develops. Even though there was some physical attraction for the both of them from the time they meet in the cat food aisle, the movi...