Steven Helmer Publications

As someone who loves classic movies and classic television, it shouldn't be a surprise to learn I've seen every episode of Gilligan's Island at least a couple dozen times and the made-for-TV movies based on the series at least a half dozen. While I will stop short of saying I can recite the episodes word-from-word, I can recall most details from those episodes without seeing them. Anyone who knows the show also knows it was cancelled after just three seasons and less than 100 episodes, forcing it to rely on the movies, which were made more than a decade later, to bring closure. That may or may not be the reason the series/movies left quite a few unanswered questions. Here are five that have always nagged at me: Was Ginger ( Tina Louise ) psychic? I am asking this question based solely on the episode "Ship Ahoax" which features Ginger pretending to be a psychic at the Professor's ( Russell Johnson ) request to fend off island madness only to have her prediction...

Synopsis: After serving his country for a number of years as a secret agent, John Stryker wants to settle down and run his business. However, when a scientist with a secret formula to create a nuclear chain reaction goes missing, Stryker is once again brought back into action. Soon after, he learns he is facing an old nemesis who is also interested in locating the scientist. Who's in it?  The movie stars Richard Egan , Dee Hartford, Al Hirt, Telly Savalas , Burgess Meredith and Tina Louise . Review: I originally watched Fanfare for a Death Scene about six years ago because I saw it had Tina Louise, and I had never seen the Gilligan's Island actress in a film role. I remembered not enjoying it all that much but couldn't remember the reasons. So, when I came across the film again this week, I decided to give it a second chance. My opinion was still the same. The best way to describe this made-for-TV movie is imagine James Bond as an American secret agent and with about h...

Along with classic movies, I am a big fan of (some) classic television shows and there are few more classic than Gilligan's Island . I never miss an opportunity to watch a rerun and there isn't an episode of that series, which went off the air eight years before I was born, I haven't seen at least a dozen times. One thing that has always bothered me about the show, however, is the perception the title character, Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) is the reason the castaways went three seasons and a movie without being rescued. While this is true some (most) of the time, the other castaways made their share of mistakes as well, unjustly not receiving their share of the blame. Here are some examples. Gilligan wasn't the one who sunk the raft with gold ( The Big Gold Strike ). OK, maybe Gilligan deserves part of the blame for discovering the gold mine in the first place. However, when the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) said no added weight in the recently repaired raft, even he didn...

Synopsis: When a famous movie producer, Harold Hecuba ( Phil Silvers ), crashes his plane on the island, the castaways see an opportunity to be rescued. When he insults Ginger ( Tina Louise ) and she refuses to leave the island, they attempt to remedy the situation by putting on a musical version of Hamlet . My Thoughts: I know I've said this before but why don't they have a signal fire already built? Ultimately, it didn't make any sort of difference this time around since Hecuba's plane was crashing but, under normal circumstances, the time they spend trying to gather up firewood seems like a good way to miss out on being rescued. It's also not as though it would hurt anything to keep one burning at all times, just in case they don't see a plane or boat as it passes. I am going to take a moment to give a shout out for the legendary Phil Silvers. This was a character that had to be memorable and enjoyable to watch while, at the same time, not be something tha...

Synopsis: When a crate full of moldable plastic washes up on the island, the castaways come up with a variety of uses for the substance, including fixing Gilligan's ( Bob Denver ) teeth. What they don't know is the clay becomes explosive once it hardens. My Thoughts : That scientist ( Kirk Duncan ) sure was nonchalant when holding that explosive ash tray. If I knew it could blow up the entire room if dropped, I'd definitely make sure I had two hands on it and certainly wouldn't risk handing it to someone I just met. In fact, the whole idea seems a bit impractical when you think about it. It would be different if you needed a heat source or some sort of detonator to set it off. Something that can explode just because you drop it seems like it would result in a lot of accidental secret agent deaths. Wow, the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) sure is a snob all of a sudden. I am, of course, basing this on his complaint about Gilligan finding a crate full of clothes "reje...

Synopsis: Forced to ration their food because of a blight, the castaways are thrilled when a duck lands on the island. However, the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) thinks the migratory bird will give them a chance at rescue if they let it fly home with a note on its leg.   My Thoughts: While I maybe can buy into the idea of a mysterious blight that "shrinks" the island's fruits and vegetables, I'm just not buying the effect it has on their supply of fish. It's a freaking ocean. You can't tell me every single fish has been affected. If nothing else, just build a small raft and go a little further away from the island. Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) once again proved he is smarter than he is given credit for. OK, so his duck decoy sunk because he forgot about a hole in his shoe, but it was still an idea that worked and definitely more than anyone else came up with. I mean, let's face it, Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) would have suggested something to do with bribing t...

Synopsis: The castaways find themselves under attack from an unknown assailant possessing machine guns and grenades.   My Thoughts -  This is one of those episodes where a defined chain of command would make sense. Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) declaring himself general ultimately was pointless but also unnecessary. There is no reason why who is in charge in a crisis should ever be up for debate, especially since they've had this debate before. The castaways sure went through a lot of effort to develop a nurse's corps and a USO performance but didn't make much of an effort to actually defend themselves from the attacker. It seems like putting up some sort of barricade and arming themselves (even with primitive weapons) would have been the best first choice. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer )? The way she put Mr. Howell in his place after he claimed to be her superior was fantastic. I kind of feel like, had the show not kept to the traditio...

Synopsis: The castaways have an opportunity to escape the island after finding the Minnow's life raft. However, Gilligan's (Bob Denver ) discovery of a gold mine on the island leaves the castaways with a dilemma as they all develop gold fever. My Thoughts: How did Gilligan and Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) get out of that cave? It seemed fairly deep with no signs of another way out and it wasn't as though they had any ropes or vines nearby. They weren't even dirty when they did get out. I was surprised to see Ginger ( Tina Louise ) and Mary Ann ( Dawn Wells ) fishing. This show normally has some firm and outdated gender roles on this series, I would have thought it would be one of the men. In fact, I'm a little curious why it wasn't Gilligan considering he apparently had enough free time to be Mr. Howell's caddy. In fact, now I'm wondering if they actually managed to catch any fish. This episode has one of the show's funniest sight gags. Mr. Howell s...

Synopsis: The lack of citrus fruits in their diet has led to a severe vitamin deficiency for the castaways. Their only hope is to grow trees from the last orange on the island. My Thoughts: The Professor's ( Russell Johnson ) death order seems a bit off. Maybe he was right about people dying in order of their overall weight and was probably right about the order the men would die in. However, I'm not convinced Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer ) is heavier than either Ginger ( Tina Louise ) or Mary Ann ( Dawn Wells ). If anything, I would describe her as the smallest person on the island. What about pineapples? Maybe they aren't technically citrus fruits, but I am fairly certain they are just as full as vitamin C as an orange. And, they had one sitting right in the middle of their table at one point in this episode. The orange tree idea seems a bit unlikely. Just how fast does the professor seem to think orange trees grow? Unless they happen to be from those radioactive seeds ...

Synopsis: When a strong storm washes up a telephone cable, the castaways see an opportunity to call for help. However, even though the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) constructs a primitive phone, they can't seem to find anyone willing to take their call. My Thoughts: I don't know a whole lot about phone cables, but doesn't it seem a bit odd one would be so close to an uncharted island that is nowhere near the shipping lanes?  I also find it hard to believe there would be enough slack in that line to for it to be washed ashore from any great distance. I'm not so sure the Ginger Grant movie would be worth buying a ticket for. I mean, had Ginger ( Tina Louise ) gotten off the island and shared her survival story, then maybe it would be worthwhile. However, without that part of the story (and Hollywood wouldn't know it), how interesting could that film really be? Maybe that's why this is the only time anyone hears about it. Speaking of her movie, the castaways sure ...

Synopsis: When Mr. and Mrs. Howell ( Jim Backus and Natalie Schafer ) discover the minister that married them was a fake and their marriage is invalid, the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) attempts to correct the situation by conducting a wedding ceremony on a raft. However, an argument causes the couple to call the whole thing off. My Thoughts: The more I watch this show , the more I realize just how many themes the series recycled plot devices in its three seasons. In this case, it was the radio announcer reading the wrong name, similar to what happened in an earlier episode involving the Howell's thinking they lost all their money. That being said, I liked how this episode threw in a new wrinkle. It was very clever how the writers mixed things up a bit with the raft building scene. I fully expected (as I'm sure was intended) some sort of injury to the Skipper and loved how he narrowly avoided it multiple times. I was a nice change up to what would have normally been a predictabl...

Synopsis: While attempting to turn tree sap into pancake syrup, Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) accidentally invents a substance that appears to be stronger than glue and the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) believes he can use it to repair the Minnow. However, Gilligan soon discovers his glue isn't permanent. My Thoughts: I've mentioned this before but why doesn't the Skipper's ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) toolbox have the things he needs to repair his ship? He has a hammer and apparently some boards (or at least the tools to make boards) but no nails? It seems like something that would be a staple in any toolbox. That being said, couldn't they have just salvaged nails from something else? The Minnow is a fairly large boat and pulling a half dozen nails or so from less important parts of that boat would have solved their problem. I feel like that should have been the first thing they should have tried (other than stopping by a hardware store before setting sail). I'm still a bit c...

Synopsis: The castaways have an opportunity to be rescued when a popular rock band lands on their island seeking a quiet place to take a break. There's just one problem, the Mosquitoes ( the Wellingtons ) won't leave until they are fully rested, something that could take months. My Thoughts: This is another one of those episodes where the castaways could have been rescued simply by being a bit patient. A month honestly wasn't that long of a time to wait (it's not like they were starving or needed medical attention) but, rather than doing nothing, they just made things worse by first getting the Mosquitoes to extend their stay then leave them behind. That being said couldn't the Mosquitoes have rescued the castaways first then stayed behind? They obviously had the ability to leave anytime the helicopter returned with provisions. They could have followed through with the rescue then have the island to themselves. Everyone would be happy. This episode is a good reason...

Synopsis: Wealthy socialite Erika Tiffany-Smith ( Zsa Zsa Gabor ) arrives on the island with the intention of buying it and building a resort. The Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) is smitten with her, but she is romantically interested in the Professor ( Russell Johnson ). My Thoughts: I think this is one of my favorite guest characters on the show. In particular, I liked the way she managed to interact with the various characters individually (something that isn't always the case), whether it was the catty exchange with her "friend" Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer ) or completely ignoring Mary Ann ( Dawn Wells ) because she was distracted by the Professor. I would have liked to see more of a rivalry between the Skipper and the Professor. Considering neither was right for her, I think a rivalry could have had some potential for both comedy and maybe even a little drama. At minimum, I felt like Skipper just backed off without a fight, something that honestly seemed a little out o...

Synopsis: After a radio broadcast reveals Mary Ann's ( Dawn Wells ) boyfriend is marrying another woman, the three bachelors are persuaded to romance her in an effort to soften the blow. However, Mary Ann misreads their intentions and believes they are only being nice to her because she is about to die. My Thoughts: When I first saw Mary Ann sending messages via bottles my first thought was, once again, "if they can do that, then why won't a raft work?" However, not wanting to sound like a broken record, I am instead going to ask, "where did those bottles come from?" It would be one thing if it was a one-time correspondence, but she was apparently sending the message on a regular basis, and I find it very hard to believe there were that many empty bottles on board the Minnow. On that same note, just how selfish is Mary Ann? If they did have a supply of glass bottles, it seems like it would be better to send messages in an effort to get rescued. Instead, she...

Synopsis: After Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) discovers a sunken ship in the lagoon, the castaways salvage costumes and a movie camera and decide to make a silent movie in an attempt to finally get rescued from the island. My Thoughts: I'm no expert on this,  but if that camera equipment was submerged in salt water with nothing but a wooden crate protecting it, shouldn't it have been unusable by the time Gilligan discovered the ship? I have a very hard time believing that wooden crate was perfectly waterproof this entire time. Heck, I would think even the costumes would be water damaged. I feel like the castaways tried too hard in this episode.   I mean, let's face it, all they really had to do was make a short film showing a rescue note. I'm not really sure why they felt the need to make a full-length silent movie that left everything up to the viewer's interpretation, especially since their attempt to show the location of the island was an absolute failure. Despite what...