Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: When Violet Feverel is found dead on a bridle path in Central Park, police believe she was accidentally thrown from her horse and trampled, until schoolteacher Hildegarde Withers points out a clue that shows the young woman was murdered. Inspector Oscar Piper quickly focuses his attention on Feverel's ex-husband, Don Gregg, believing he is the killer. Hildegarde, however, isn't convinced. Who's in it? The movie stars James Gleason , Helen Broderick, Louise Latimer, Leslie Fenton and Willie Best . Review: I have enjoyed other Hildegarde Withers mysteries and was quick to add Murder on a Bridle Path to my library even though it had a different actress (Broderick) in the lead role other than Edna May Oliver . Despite the schoolteacher and amateur detective having a different face, it still turned out to be an entertaining mystery. One thing I found I liked right away about this movie was how it was quick to establish Hildegarde as the brains of the duo while still...

Along with classic movies, I am a big fan of (some) classic television shows and there are few more classic than Gilligan's Island . I never miss an opportunity to watch a rerun and there isn't an episode of that series, which went off the air eight years before I was born, I haven't seen at least a dozen times. One thing that has always bothered me about the show, however, is the perception the title character, Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) is the reason the castaways went three seasons and a movie without being rescued. While this is true some (most) of the time, the other castaways made their share of mistakes as well, unjustly not receiving their share of the blame. Here are some examples. Gilligan wasn't the one who sunk the raft with gold ( The Big Gold Strike ). OK, maybe Gilligan deserves part of the blame for discovering the gold mine in the first place. However, when the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) said no added weight in the recently repaired raft, even he didn...

 Look at you wearing that old-fashioned hockey mask Holding a butcher knife or machete with eyes full of rage. You may think you’re terrifying But I have survived a pre-teen girl who went on a rampage. So why don’t you once again focus on teenagers Because if you think you’re going to scare me, don’t even bother. You might be scary to most people. I on the other hand, am raising daughters. Raising your voice in anger or growling like a wild animal Might make you seem tough. But I spend my days walking on eggshells Because you never know what will set these girls off. Yeah, one moment they may act all sweet and innocent And even love their dad. Just look at them wrong, however And, boy, do they get mad. Image Courtesy of Pixabay Also, let’s not forget the various landmines throughout the house Whether they are naked Barbies, other toys or pieces of board games. I really hate to say this, But they would make a hunter like Predator envious and put it to shame. Not to mention the glitt...

Synopsis: After being banished from his tribe, caveman Atouk sets off on his own, learns to walk upright, discovers fire and makes new friends, forming a new tribe. However, his desire for the beautiful Lana keeps putting him at odds with his former tribal leader, Tonda. Who's in it? The movie stars Ringo Starr, Dennis Quaid , Shelley Long, John Matuszak and Barbara Bach. Review: I was undecided about what movie to watch this morning so, since it had been a few years since I had last watched it, I decided to put Caveman on. The movie ended up being what I remembered it being - goofy and a bit dated but also entertaining. Atouk (Starr) is an interesting character, friendly and intelligent but also clearly in need of better priorities. His obsession with Lana (Bach) is something that both kept getting him in trouble and, at times, didn't exactly paint him in the best light, especially by today's standards. For example, his attempt at raping an unconscious Lana was played ...

Synopsis: A pair of newlyweds purchase a castle in 19th century Austria, unaware of the vampire that hides in the wine cellar. Soon after, the vampire targets the bride, Louise, turning her and a castle servant into vampires too, leaving her husband, Marquis Wolfgang, and a vampire expert, Dr. Nietzsche, to stop them. The movie is also known by the title Curse of the Blood Ghouls . Who's in it? The movie stars Walter Brandi, Dieter Eppler, Graziella Granata, Luigi Batzella and Genna Gimmy. Review: I started to watch Slaughter of the Vampires a few weeks ago but was only able to get through the first few minutes and then forgot all about it until coming across it again last night. I decided to watch it this morning and, overall, I would say it was a good choice for a vampire movie. One thing I liked most about this movie is it doesn't waste time. Unlike so many other films, the filmmakers seemed to understand they only had a little over an hour to tell the story and got righ...

Synopsis: After killing more than 200 people, Jason Voorhees is finally captured by the government and is being held in a secret research facility. He manages to escape custody and kills everyone inside the facility except for a government scientist who lures him into a cryogenic chamber before freezing him and herself. Nearly 450 years later, their frozen bodies are discovered by a team of archaeologists exploring now-abandoned Earth and are brought on board the spaceship. Soon after, Jason once again rises from the dead and goes on a killing spree. Who's in it?  The movie stars Kane Hodder , Lexa Doig, David Cronenberg, Markus Parilo and Lisa Ryder. Review: Full honesty here - while I recognize the Friday the 13th movies for their cultural significance, I am not as big of a Jason Voorhees fan as you might think. Frankly, I have always considered him to be a bit overrated (and even a little wimpy) when compared to other horror movie bad guys.  Jason X , however, is one of ...