Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: A newly discovered coelacanth is delivered to a college campus for study. However, because the fish has been exposed to radiation, it has the ability to devolve anything that comes in contact with its blood. Who's in it? The film stars Arthur Franz , Joanna Moore, Nancy Walters, Phil Harvey and Troy Donahue. Review: I remember watching Monster on the Campus with my oldest daughter several years ago but the only thing I could remember about it was not thinking it was very good, even by 1950s monster movie standards. Since I have had a history of re-watching movies and enjoying them more the second time around, I decided to give it another change.  Unfortunately, my opinion about the movie remains the same. More times than not, my dislike for a movie is the result of wasted potential - a film that has a promising plot but suffers from poor acting, crappy special effects or just poor overall execution. In a lot of ways, this film is the opposite of that. The acting isn...

  I'm going to be honest with you, I'm getting old. I had no idea who Bad Bunny even was until he was named the half-time performer at the Super Bowl. As a result of that, and not caring about who won the game, I wasn't sure if I was going to watch the performance yesterday or just watch a movie instead. I chose the former and will admit, I thought it was a good performance with a great message for a heavily divided United States. I'm not going to lie - it's been 25+ years since I took Spanish in college and only got a B because I didn't rat out the professor for accidentally showing the class a Spanish language porn film. So, when Bad Bunny was performing, I didn't understand about 99 percent of what he was singing.  As it turns out though, that wasn't really necessary. The visual performance and the messages of unity on the scoreboard and the football he carried were enough to get the point across while the music was the kind of music that just made yo...

Synopsis: Fran Celane comes to attorney Perry Mason for his help with her inheritance, a sum of about $1 million left to her by her father. As a result of Fran's compulsive nature and bad temper, the money is in a trust under the control of her strict uncle, Edward Norton, and with a provision that allows him to dissolve the trust and donate the majority of the money to charity if she marries before the age of 25. When attempts to have a conversation with Norton fail, Mason agrees to represent her if she contests the will. However, when Norton is killed soon after, Mason finds himself defending both Fran and her secret husband, Robert Gleason against murder charges. Review: When I read through Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason series, there were some books I wasn't able to read because of a lack of availability. This included The Case of the Sulky Girl . I was finally able to get a copy through my library this week and once I started reading it, I had a hard time putting ...

Synopsis: After once again being passed over for promotion, Major Bensen Winifred Payne is set to be discharged from the United States Marines. His commanding officer finds a way to keep him in the military by assigning him as the commanding officer of a failing JROTC program at a Virginia Preparatory School. Payne's gung-ho ways and lack of social skills immediately threaten the arrangement, along with the cadets in his unit unwilling to accept his methods.  Who's in it? The movie stars Damon Wayans, Karyn Parsons, William Hickey , Orlando Brown and Steven Martini. Review: I had some time before making dinner last night and as I was scrolling through the channels on TV, I came across Major Payne on one of my movie channels. It had been ages since I last saw this military comedy and I decided to give it a try. The movie, as it turns out, isn't as good as I remembered. However, I still didn't hate it. Look, there's a lot about this movie that, at minimum, is date...

 I stepped on the scale last night. I didn't like what I saw. It doesn't matter if I diet and exercise That number just never seems to fall. If I were on the moon, of course That number wouldn't be close to being the same. So, it's clearly not my fault. Gravity is to blame. It was 5 a.m. this morning I needed to get ready for work, but the blankets had so much weight. I somehow made it to the living room sofa Only to have my fat a** hold me down and nearly make me late. I probably could have called in sick, But I'm just not the kind of person who plays the hooky game. So, here I am starting my day Even though I had gravity to blame. _________________________________________________________________ If you liked this, check out some of my poetry books:

Believe it or not, despite my love for older movies, I really am not a big nostalgia person. If I watch reruns of a television show from my childhood, it's not because of fond memories, but because I think it is better than anything else currently on TV. And as part of that, I have more than my share of skepticism when networks or streaming services attempt to reboot and modernize one of those shows. The Muppet Show , however, was an exception. I was intrigued enough to watch it last night and impressed enough to say it needs to come back. My understanding is last night's episode of Seth Rogan 's reboot was essentially a pilot episode meant to judge viewer interest before making a decision about bring the series back. My personal opinion is that mission was accomplished. The problem with most reboots is they rely a bit too heavily on the nostalgia I was referencing. Night Court was a great example of this, bringing back characters from the original series to buoy a new ge...