Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: A fracking operation near New Orleans causes a series of earthquakes that release giant, fire-breathing spiders on the city and leave residents in terror as they attempt to escape before being eaten. Who's in it? The movie stars Megan Adelle, Gralen Bryant Banks, Tracey Gold, Edward Furlong and Grant James. Review: I watch a lot of horror movies and, as part of that, have watched more than my share of bad horror films, especially those that were made for TV. However, every once in a while, I'll come across a film that is so terrible, I wind up wondering if some of my brain cells exploded from watching it. The film Arachnoquake is one of those movies. To be fair, I probably should have expected as much from the title. In my defense, however, I have seen a similar film, Lavalantula , that turned out to be surprisingly good so, based on that, I was willing to give this movie a shot this morning. Too bad the film didn't hold up its end. My biggest problem with thi...

Synopsis: Tom Canty is the son of an abusive and criminal father and has spent his whole life in poverty while Edward Tudor is the son of King Henry VIII and the prince of Wales. When the two boys cross paths and realize they look exactly alike, they switch clothes as a prank, only to have the resulting case of mistaken identity result in Edward being thrown off the palace grounds. When Tom tries to correct the situation, nobody believes him except for the Earl of Hertford, who uses the information to blackmail Tom, who is about to be crowned King of England, to do his bidding while arranging for the real Edward's murder. Who's in it? The movie stars Billy and Robert J. Mauch, Errol Flynn , Claude Rains, Barton MacLane and Alan Hale . Review: I didn't intend on watching a movie this morning because I hadn't picked one out ahead of time and only had a limited amount of time to choose. However, I happened to come across The Prince and the Pauper and figured it would ...

Synopsis: The residents of Chipping Cleghorn are amused by an announcement in the morning paper advertising a murder later that day at the Little Paddocks estate owned by Letty Blacklock and go to her house believing it is either a game or a prank. They are less amused, however, when someone turns off the lights at the advertised time and fires a revolver, striking Miss Blacklock in the ear before either accidentally or purposely killing himself. Local police, baffled by the motive, turn to Jane Marple and, with her insight, come to a terrifying conclusion. The dead man was nothing more than a ruse and one of the people closest to Miss Blacklock is trying to kill her. Review: Several years ago, I made reading all of Agatha Christie's mysteries one of my goals. However, I ended up taking a break from that after reading the first Miss Marple books and realizing I wasn't as big of a fan of her as I was of Christie's other detectives.  Since it had been a while, I decided to ...

Synopsis: Passengers and crew onboard a late-night train between London and Eastborough break down in a remote forested area and soon after, the driver disappears while assessing the damage. Despite pleas from the train security guard, Joe Griffin, the passengers insist on walking rather than waiting for rescue, only to discover they are being hunted by a pack of werewolves. Who's in it? The movie stars Elliot Cowan, Rosie Day, Calvin Dean, Sam Gittins and Sean Pertwee . Review: We had a lazy day yesterday. Well, my wife did at least- I actually did a few chores. This allowed us to find time to watch some movies throughout the day and, after getting a bit bored with the films we've seen before, I convinced her to continue our train-themed horror movie weekend with Howl . Of the three train-themed horror movies we watched, this one was arguably my favorite. I think the thing I liked best about this film was, from basically the time the train stopped onward, it was a legitimat...

Synopsis: After discovering the frozen remains of what he believes to be the missing link, Sir Alexander Saxton transports his discovery onboard the Trans-Siberian Express, drawing curiosity from his rival and fellow passenger Doctor Wells. The men soon learn Saxton's find is both not dead and able to use its glowing eyes to kill people by stealing their memories, forcing them to team up to stop it. Who's in it? The movie stars Christopher Lee , Peter Cushing , Telly Savalas , Silvia Tortosa, Alberto de Mendoza and Julio Peña. Review: My wife and I had talked about going out last night, but we (mostly her) decided it was too cold and ended up staying home and watching a movie instead. Sticking with the train-based horror theme I started the night before with Terror Train , we ended up watching Horror Express . Unfortunately, while I had relatively high hopes for this movie because of the Lee/Cushing pairing, it was a bit of a disappointment. The movie's premise wasn'...

Synopsis: Three years after reluctantly assisting in a fraternity prank that sent a pledge to a mental hospital, a graduating Alana Maxwell joins her classmates at a New Years Eve costume party held on a train. What she doesn't know is one of the guests has murderous intentions. Who's in it? The movie stars Jamie Lee Curtis , Ben Johnson, David Copperfield, Hart Bochner and Derek McKinnon. Review: My wife has an almost child-like obsession with trains, and we both love horror films so, when I came across Terror Train last night, I decided to add it to the top of my list and watch it right away. Unfortunately, while this movie seemed to have quite a bit of potential, it did fall a bit short in my opinion. The overall premise isn't a bad one. The train provided a great setting, both because it was a confined space and because it was moving, making it much more difficult for the intended victims to escape. The costume party was a nice added touch as well because it both mad...