Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: After meeting her on a ship to Haiti, Charles Beaumont falls in love with Madeline Short. She, however, is in love with Neil Parker and marries him. Determined to have her, Charles enlists the help of a local Voodoo witch doctor, "Murder" Legendre, and slips Madeline a potion through a flower that makes it appear as though she died on her wedding night. Legendre then uses his skills to turn Madeline into a zombie slave, a decision Charles soon regrets. Who's in it? The movie stars Bela Lugosi , Madge Bellamy, Robert Frazer , John Harron and Joseph Cawthorn. Review:  It had been a while since I last watched White Zombie, enough time to remember very little about it. So, when I came across the film last night, I decided to add it to my library and watch it this morning. The movie, as it turns out, is OK but I also understood why it was so easy to forget. I will start out by saying there are some good things about this film. Lugosi, for example, was solid as ...

It's a windy, crappy day outside today so after doing some chores around the house, I am on the couch watching re-runs of Friends .  The episode I'm watching right now is "The One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner," which, among other things, is reminding me just how terrible Ross ( David Schwimmer ) and Rachel ( Jennifer Aniston ) were as a couple and why they shouldn't have gotten back together (sorry, I just can't change my mind about that). However, it also got me thinking about some of the other relationships on the show and I realize it isn't the cringiest one from the series, or even the cringiest one Ross was involved with. Here are my top five in no particular order: Ross and Elizabeth ( Alexandra Holden ) -  At first, I thought this was just a relationship that didn't age well. However, even the series itself recognized a professor dating a student just wasn't right by forcing Ross to keep it hidden to avoid being fired. In fact, one of the gr...

Synopsis: "Cursed" with a deformity on her face, Princess Philonoe is sent away to be raised by goatherders but is eventually called back when her parents want to marry her off to Prince Vasilios to strengthen an alliance. When she learns she and her sisters are victims of another curse, one that will likely cause her to betray her husband, Philonoe, desperate not to disappoint her parents, goes on three quests given to her by Aphrodite with help from another goddess, Artemis. Along the way, she learns more about the second curse and about herself. Review: I've never been a graphic novel person. I have no issues with that form of media or the people who enjoy them (which includes my daughters), it was just never my thing. However, after coming across  The Lost Daughter of Sparta and seeing it was written by Felicia Day, who played one of my favorite characters on Supernatural , I decided to check out a copy from the library and give it a try. I can honestly say I enjoy...

Synopsis: After killing one of the three masked assailants who killed her boyfriend, Maya remains on the run while her sister, Debbie, arrives with armed reinforcements in search of her. Eventually, Maya learns the Scarecrow no longer wants her dead and instead wants to recruit her. Who's in it? The movie stars Madelaine Petsch , Gabriel Basso , Richard Brake , Ema Horvath and Krystal Ellsworth. Review: Movie sequels are a tricky thing. While they are rarely as good as the original, many do at least still manage to carry on the story and still be entertaining. However, there is a limitation to that and, in the case of The Strangers: Chapter 3 , the franchise reached it. When my wife and I decided to watch this movie last night, my hope was it would bring a dramatic conclusion to Maya's (Petsch) story, especially since she inflicted her first kill and the remaining masked killers had a reason to step up their game. Instead, it ended up being a mix of dull and predictable. On...

Synopsis: After locking herself inside a booby-trapped home, anticipating Ghostface's return, Cindy Campbell and her friends are drawn back into action when her daughter, Tuesday, is attacked and her other daughter, Sara, returns shows up at her door with her boyfriend, Jack, to ask for help. Who's in it? The movie stars Anna Faris , Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Regina Hall , Kenan Thompson , Olivia Rose Keegan and Savannah Lee Nassif. Review: I'm not really a big nostalgia person. However, the original Scary Movie came out around the time my wife and I first started dating and ended up being the film we watched on our first movie date. As a result, it is a franchise I have paid attention to, even when there was a noticeable decline after the Wayan Brothers stopped being involved. As a result, when I saw they were making a new movie, with the Wayans returning, I decided to take my wife on another movie date. After seeing it last night, I can honestly say I didn't h...

Synopsis: After having her passport lost or stolen while on tour in a British West African colony, American singer Nora Brooks is stranded at a hotel while waiting for replacement documentation that will allow her to return to the United States. When a fight breaks out during one of her performances, leaving a man dead, Nora runs into the jungle and eventually takes refuge in a camp run by paleontologist Larry Mason. What she doesn't know is the deceased bar patron was carrying documents exposing a Nazi spy ring and those papers were stashed in her jacket before she fled, painting a target on her back. Who's in it? The movie stars Arline Judge , John "Dusty" King, Mantan Moreland , Arthur O'Connell and Laurence Criner. Review: I came across Law of the Jungle last night and since it sounded somewhat interesting, added it to my movie library. I decided to watch the film right away this morning and unfortunately, while the premise was decent, the execution was la...