Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: The bored wife of a successful theater critic decides to write her own play. She is able to get it produced but a drunken, negative review written by her husband threatens both the show's success and their marriage. Who's in it? The movie stars  Bob Hope , Lucille Ball , Marilyn Maxwell , Jim Backus and Rip Torn . Review: I am taking a bit of a lazy day today and, while my wife and youngest daughter were attending a play at our local high school, I ended up searching for a movie to watch. It had been a while since I last saw Critic's Choice and since it was available, I decided to give it a re-watch. My opinion of it was basically the same one I had the first time I watched it, it was OK but not as good as I had expected. I'll start out by saying the film's premise was a good one, mostly because it created a no-win scenario for the critic, Parker Ballentine (Hope). It was clear he didn't want to review his wife, Angela's (Ball) play because, base...

As I've said before, I rarely watch a television series until I know it is going to last more than a season. Life it too short to get invested in something that is going to get cancelled. As a result of that, we had not watched The Traitors  until very recently, when we finally got caught up on all the past seasons of Project Runway. I haven't quite finished the first season of the reality series, which features a group of contestants staying in a Scottish manor and competing to earn money while trying to figure out which three are "murdering" a contestant per night. So, please, no spoilers. However, I do have some thoughts to share: The contestants sometimes take this a bit too seriously. I'm not talking about being overly competitive. This is, after all, a game with money at stake. I do think they sometimes forget it is a game though, whether it is guilt over "murdering" a contestant, almost to the point you would think they actually died, or getting o...

Synopsis: A fracking operation near New Orleans causes a series of earthquakes that release giant, fire-breathing spiders on the city and leave residents in terror as they attempt to escape before being eaten. Who's in it? The movie stars Megan Adelle, Gralen Bryant Banks, Tracey Gold, Edward Furlong and Grant James. Review: I watch a lot of horror movies and, as part of that, have watched more than my share of bad horror films, especially those that were made for TV. However, every once in a while, I'll come across a film that is so terrible, I wind up wondering if some of my brain cells exploded from watching it. The film Arachnoquake is one of those movies. To be fair, I probably should have expected as much from the title. In my defense, however, I have seen a similar film, Lavalantula , that turned out to be surprisingly good so, based on that, I was willing to give this movie a shot this morning. Too bad the film didn't hold up its end. My biggest problem with thi...

Synopsis: Tom Canty is the son of an abusive and criminal father and has spent his whole life in poverty while Edward Tudor is the son of King Henry VIII and the prince of Wales. When the two boys cross paths and realize they look exactly alike, they switch clothes as a prank, only to have the resulting case of mistaken identity result in Edward being thrown off the palace grounds. When Tom tries to correct the situation, nobody believes him except for the Earl of Hertford, who uses the information to blackmail Tom, who is about to be crowned King of England, to do his bidding while arranging for the real Edward's murder. Who's in it? The movie stars Billy and Robert J. Mauch, Errol Flynn , Claude Rains, Barton MacLane and Alan Hale . Review: I didn't intend on watching a movie this morning because I hadn't picked one out ahead of time and only had a limited amount of time to choose. However, I happened to come across The Prince and the Pauper and figured it would ...

Synopsis: The residents of Chipping Cleghorn are amused by an announcement in the morning paper advertising a murder later that day at the Little Paddocks estate owned by Letty Blacklock and go to her house believing it is either a game or a prank. They are less amused, however, when someone turns off the lights at the advertised time and fires a revolver, striking Miss Blacklock in the ear before either accidentally or purposely killing himself. Local police, baffled by the motive, turn to Jane Marple and, with her insight, come to a terrifying conclusion. The dead man was nothing more than a ruse and one of the people closest to Miss Blacklock is trying to kill her. Review: Several years ago, I made reading all of Agatha Christie's mysteries one of my goals. However, I ended up taking a break from that after reading the first Miss Marple books and realizing I wasn't as big of a fan of her as I was of Christie's other detectives.  Since it had been a while, I decided to ...

Synopsis: Passengers and crew onboard a late-night train between London and Eastborough break down in a remote forested area and soon after, the driver disappears while assessing the damage. Despite pleas from the train security guard, Joe Griffin, the passengers insist on walking rather than waiting for rescue, only to discover they are being hunted by a pack of werewolves. Who's in it? The movie stars Elliot Cowan, Rosie Day, Calvin Dean, Sam Gittins and Sean Pertwee . Review: We had a lazy day yesterday. Well, my wife did at least- I actually did a few chores. This allowed us to find time to watch some movies throughout the day and, after getting a bit bored with the films we've seen before, I convinced her to continue our train-themed horror movie weekend with Howl . Of the three train-themed horror movies we watched, this one was arguably my favorite. I think the thing I liked best about this film was, from basically the time the train stopped onward, it was a legitimat...