Steven Helmer Publications

 What is this crap Falling from the sky? It was almost 70 on Monday Now I'm being pelted with white flakes and need a reason why. Isn't Old Man Winter  Content with taking an early break? Spring is just days away And I have fun plans at stake. Look, this crap may have been majestic Earlier in the winter. Seeing it now, with the grass already turning green Is as painful as a jagged splinter. I'm not saying I wasn't expecting it There's a reason why my shovel and blower are still at the ready. But it doesn't mean this crap needs to fall down And, from the looks of it, it's falling down steady. It's the kind of thing that has me craving a warmer climate. Before long, I might even pull out a map. In the meantime, however, What is this crap? ______________________________________________________________________ If you liked this, check out one of my poetry books:

Synopsis: Six years after a performance at a child's birthday party leaves him tormented by the kids and ultimately dead, Stitches the Clown returns from the grave to seek his revenge. Who's in it? The movie stars Ross Noble, Tommy Knight, Roisin Barrons, Gemma-Leah Devereux and Tommy Cullen. Review: I'm not exactly sure what compelled me to watch the movie Stitches this morning. While I'm not opposed to watching a movie that features an undead killer clown, I'm always more than a little skeptical because films like that almost always end up being silly rather than scary. However, it was readily available, and I didn't want to spend a lot of time choosing an alternative, so I gave it a shot. In the end, it was better than I was expecting but also nothing I'd consider anywhere close to being a great film. As I had suspected and mentioned, the movie did end up falling more into the silly category than scary. There was plenty of blood and gore but some of t...

My wife and I just finished watching the third season of The Traitors . With just one more to go (at least until there's another one), here are my thoughts: This season had a very bad group of Traitors. I mean, wow, they were partnered for what, a few hours, maybe a day, before they started backstabbing each other. Bob the Drag Queen (Christopher Caldwell) was flat out outed by fellow traitor Boston Rob (Mariano). Carolyn Wiger and Danielle Reyes painted targets on each other's backs while late recruit Britney Haynes all but confessed to being one with her reaction to Danielle being banished. It was like none of them wanted to win. Oh, and could they have been any louder during the coffin episode? Forcing the Traitors to commit one murder (or, in this case, a murder short-list) in plain sight is an intriguing twist to the show but in this case, it really felt as though they all should have been outed. There had to be a more intelligent way to pick three names than all of them d...

Synopsis: Twenty-five years after being defeated by a now-deceased Tory Redding, the Leprechaun is reborn. As he seeks out his gold, he discovers the North Dakota farm he once terrorized now belongs to an eco-conscious sorority and one of the sorority members is Tory's daughter, Lila, who believed her mother's stories about the Leprechaun were just the ravings of someone who was mentally ill. Who's in it? The movie stars Linden Porco, Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, Sai Bennett and Emilie Reid. Review: My wife and I decided to spend another Saturday night at home and, instead of going out, ordered a pizza, took a break from binge-watching The Traitors and found a movie to watch. After some consideration, I picked Leprechaun Returns . I made this choice with some reluctance. While we both liked Leprechaun , most of the sequels were just terrible and I had some serious doubts about yet another film that didn't even star Warwick Davis as the title character. However, thi...

Stormcloud has been at her station early this morning, guarding our house from the birds and, more importantly, squirrels that dare to visit the patio table bird feeder.  She's doing a great job. Not a single one of them has gotten in the house yet. ____________________________________________________________________ Here are some other cat photos: Just a Cat Photo Just Some Random Cat Photos Pizza Box Cat I Don't Know About that Cat

Synopsis: A giant, prehistoric ancestor of the praying mantis is released from an iceberg in the Arctic. After attacking a military-run early warning radar system, the bug flies south and attacks both New York City and Washington D. C. while military officials and scientists try to figure out a way to stop it. Who's in it?  The movie stars Craig Stevens, William Hopper , Alix Talton, Phil Harvey and Donald Randolph. Review : I like most classic monster movies, but giant bug movies are admittedly my favorite. So, since it had been nearly a decade since I last watched The Deadly Mantis , I decided to take time this morning to see it again.  My opinion of it was pretty much what I remembered it being the last time I saw it - It's a film with good things going for it but falls short of what it could be. The overall plot of the film is OK. Many movies like this have bugs that are abnormally large because of a science experiment or exposure to nuclear radiation but, in this case, ...