Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: A fracking operation near New Orleans causes a series of earthquakes that release giant, fire-breathing spiders on the city and leave residents in terror as they attempt to escape before being eaten. Who's in it? The movie stars Megan Adelle, Gralen Bryant Banks, Tracey Gold, Edward Furlong and Grant James. Review: I watch a lot of horror movies and, as part of that, have watched more than my share of bad horror films, especially those that were made for TV. However, every once in a while, I'll come across a film that is so terrible, I wind up wondering if some of my brain cells exploded from watching it. The film Arachnoquake is one of those movies. To be fair, I probably should have expected as much from the title. In my defense, however, I have seen a similar film, Lavalantula , that turned out to be surprisingly good so, based on that, I was willing to give this movie a shot this morning. Too bad the film didn't hold up its end. My biggest problem with thi...

Synopsis: A NASA experiment involving spider DNA goes horribly wrong and results in the experiment returning to Earth and producing spiders that are extremely poisonous and use human bodies to reproduce. Making them even more dangerous is the fact they grow larger with each new generation, putting everyone around them in harm’s way as they grow as large as humans and even buildings. Who's in it?   The movie stars  Lana Parilla ,  Josh Green ,  Nick Swarts ,  Mark Totty ,  Jonathan Breck  and  Simona Williams . You can read my review here:  Movie Review: Spiders (2000) (wizzley.com)

Synopsis: A group of Olympic hopefuls arrive at a remote ski resort to train with Dan "Dash" Dashiell, a champion skier whose career was ended by a gruesome injury. What they don't know is a nearby research facility has been experimenting with spiders, causing them to grow to an enormous size, and the six specimens have escaped and are now looking for food. Who's in it? The movie stars Patrick Muldoon , Vanessa Williams , Thomas Calabro , David Millbern and Noah Bastian . Review: It was a dreary and rainy day yesterday and my wife and I wound up on the couch for most of it as a result. We decided to watch a movie yesterday afternoon and Ice Spiders seemed to be the safest choice out of the ones we considered so we gave it a try. Overall, it was about what we expected a made-for-TV movie to be. The overall premise of the film isn't overly unique, scientists splice DNA from a prehistoric spider with modern-day spiders hoping to help humanity (or, in this case, ...

Synopsis: A plane containing a paleontologist, his assistant, three students and the pilot gets knocked out of the sky by a meteorite, crashing in the middle of nowhere. All survive and are given shelter by a farmer. However, they soon find their lives in danger from giant arachnids the meteorite woke from an ancient cave. Who's in it? The movie stars  Rob Monkiewicz ,  Irene Joseph ,  David Bunce ,  Bevin McGraw and  Alexxus Young .  Review: My wife and I decided to watch a movie while eating dinner last night and both because we've been on a bit of a big spider kick, and because it seemed fitting on the same day as the solar eclipse, we gave this one a try. While my expectations weren't overly high when it came to this film, I must admit it was much worse than I was expecting. This movie had two major problems. The first was the special effects. This is a movie that was made in 2003 but the killer spiders (or whatever arachnid they were supposed to be...

Synopsis: When Carol Flynn's father doesn't return from a trip to buy her a birthday present, she convinces her boyfriend, Mike Simpson to help her search for him. They find her father's truck severely damaged on the side of the road and look for him in a nearby cave. That's when they discover a giant, man-eating spider. Who's in it? The movie stars June Kenney , Eugene Persson , Ed Kemmer , Gene Roth and June Jocelyn . Review: My wife and I decided not to go out last night and she surprised me by suggesting we watch a classic monster film (normally she isn't into that kind of thing). After some searching, we settled on this one and, overall, we enjoyed it. The movie, as you probably would expect, is somewhat limited as far as special effects are concerned but still manages to do a decent job infusing footage of a spider to make it look like a large killing machine. The film also throws in some entertaining twists that keep it from being too predictable. The...

Synopsis: Still piecing her life back together after the accidental death of her son, Kara, a private nurse and single mother, moves to the country with her two kids to take care of an elderly man who has spent his life collecting artifacts from around the world. When one of her client's artifacts is smashed by an intruder, it releases a large killer spider that puts her and her children at risk. Who's in it? The movie stars Bruce Davison , Elizabeth Roberts , Denise Crosby , Arman Darbo and Chloe Perrin . Review: I was looking for some horror movies to watch for my wife and, figuring you can't go wrong with giant spiders, added this one to our library. We had an opportunity to finally watch it last night and my opinion of it was a bit mixed. I think one of my biggest complaints about this film is the same one I have with a lot of horror films, it takes way too long to get going. Roughly three-quarters of this film seemed to focus on Kara (Roberts), her depression, her ...

Synopsis:  A year after Colton West and his team saved Los Angeles from lavalantulas, a new batch of them begin to hatch around Florida. West doesn't want to get involved this time but, when he learns his step daughter is trapped in Fort Lauderdale, chooses to rescue her. This time, the lavalantulas have different abilities and their queen is considerably larger than the one in Los Angeles. Who's in it?  The movie stars  Steve Guttenberg ,  Michael Winslow ,  Michele Weaver ,  Jimmy Bellinger  and  RJ Walker . Review:  My wife and I were pleasantly surprised by the movie   Lavalantula   a couple weeks ago and made sure to add the sequel to our library. We finally had a chance to watch it yesterday evening and, while it wasn't anywhere near as good as the original, it still had its moments. As I said before, the original was definitely better, primarily because this movie felt a little more predictable, even with the lava-spewing spi...

Synopsis:  When a series of ancient volcanoes erupt in the Santa Monica Mountains, a hoard of giant, lava-spewing spiders are released and begin to terrorize Los Angeles. It's up to washed-up action movie star, Colton West, to save the day. Who's in it?  The movie stars  Steve Guttenberg ,  Nia Peeples ,  Patrick Renna ,  Noah Hunt  and  Michael Winslow. Review:  I came across this movie on  YouTube TV  a couple days ago and, while I thought it sounded a bit dumb, I was also intrigued enough to add it to my library. I wound up selecting it last night and, while my expectations were admittedly lowered, this film more than exceeded them. The thing I found I liked about this movie is it didn't take itself too seriously but, at the same time, also pretended it wasn't a comedy. The end result was a film that was funny/quirky but also managed to be an entertaining action film featuring what looked to be an unstoppable army of fire breathi...