Gravity is to Blame (A Poem)

 I stepped on the scale last night.

I didn't like what I saw.

It doesn't matter if I diet and exercise

That number just never seems to fall.

If I were on the moon, of course

That number wouldn't be close to being the same.

So, it's clearly not my fault.

Gravity is to blame.

It was 5 a.m. this morning

I needed to get ready for work, but the blankets had so much weight.

I somehow made it to the living room sofa

Only to have my fat a** hold me down and nearly make me late.

I probably could have called in sick,

But I'm just not the kind of person who plays the hooky game.

So, here I am starting my day

Even though I had gravity to blame.

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