Steven Helmer Publications

  They must have been cold. I don't normally see Echo and Stormcloud on our bed at the same time and almost never that close together. It didn't last long. Soon after I took the photo, they were both awake and looking to eat. ________________________________________________________________ Here are some other cat photos: I Think Our Cat May Be in Need of Rehab Who Needs a TV When You Have a Window Just Some Random Cat Photos King of the Cat Tree

My wife took an extended break from modeling but is attempting to get back into it after taking the past 8 months off. I went along as her chaperone/chauffer and, mostly to keep myself occupied for the three-hour-long shoot, took some behind-the-scenes shots with my camera. It was a Valentine's Day-themed shoot and got a bit steamy. I kept my photos in the PG/PG-13 category though. Here are some of them. Model: Cynthia Helmer + _______________________________________________________________ Here are some behind the scenes shots from other photoshoots: Behind the Scenes at the Retzer Nature Center Photoshoot Another Behind the Scenes at a Photoshoot Behind the Scenes at a Farm Photoshoot Some Behind-the-Scenes Photoshoot Photos

Synopsis: From the moment Austin Shelby met Hekalu Selba, he disliked the Martian nobleman and suspected it wasn't just because of the affection his girlfriend, Jan, showed toward Shelba. Shelby's suspicions are confirmed when Selba attempts to obtain his formula for an atomic ray gun, going as far as to take Shelby and Jan prisoner. Shelby then learns Selba is working with a race of Star Men with plans to conquer the solar system. Review: I picked up a copy of The Revolt of Star Men  both because he was an author from my hometown of Beaver Dam, WI and because I needed a book to serve as a palate cleanser before reading another Agatha Raisin mystery. I finished the book tonight and will admit it exceeded my expectations. I was a bit skeptical when I started reading the book, mostly because it is a story that was written nearly 100 years ago and long before human space travel was a thing. I figured, at minimum, the material would be severely dated to the point the story would c...

Synopsis: While serving in Iraq, Logan comes across a photo of a mystery woman. Soon after, he survives multiple situations that should have killed him and believes the photo, or possibly the woman in it, is a good luck charm. When he returns to the United States, Logan travels to Louisiana to find the woman and thank and falls in love. Who's in it? The movie stars Zac Efron , Taylor Schilling, Blythe Danner, Riley Thomas Stewart and Jay Ferguson. Review: I don't normally watch romantic movies without my wife but do occasionally come across one that seems interesting enough to give a try even if she isn't in the room with me. That was the case with The Lucky One . Unfortunately, it ended up being a disappointment. Let me start out by saying I didn't think this was a bad movie. As far as romance films go, it was OK. The reason I thought it was a disappointment is it had the potential to be so much more than it was. The part about Logan (Efron) finding the photograph a...

Synopsis: A pair of newlyweds, Gerald and Marianne, are driving through Bavaria when their car runs out of gas. They find lodging in a small village and accept an invitation to a costume ball held by a local, Dr. Ravna, not knowing he is the leader of a vampire cult. When Marianne is kidnapped by Ravna during the party, Gerald tries to rescue her but finds the villagers unwilling to help. Who's in it? The movie stars Clifford Evans, Noel Willman, Edward de Souza, Jennifer Daniel and Jacquie Wallace. Review: I was reasonably confident I had seen The Kiss of the Vampire before. However, it was a long time ago and as has often been the case as I've gotten older, I didn't remember anything about it. So, I decided to give it a try. I'm always a bit pessimistic when it comes to vampire movies from the 60s and 70s. While there are some good ones, many (most) tend to be too predictable, too corny or not much better than a soft-core porn film. I am happy to say this is one o...

Just taking a few minutes for some shameless promotion: Valentine's Day is just around the corner and Love Poems for My Wife is still available at Amazon, usually getting a sales boost around this time of year. You can purchase it here:  Amazon.com: Love Poems for My Wife . The book is available both in print form and as an eBook. There is a companion book to this as well A Messy House is a Home is also available if you're looking for a set rather than just one book. You can purchase that one here:  Amazon.com: A Messy House is a Home .

Synopsis: Richie Bridgestone and his divorced father, Robert, spend a father/son weekend at their secluded mountain cabin. While taking a moonlight stroll, they are attacked by a werewolf. Robert manages to kill the creature but is bitten and, the next time they go to their cabin, turns into a werewolf himself. Richie witnesses this but nobody believes him. Who's in it? The movie stars Kerwin Mathews , Scott Sealey, Elaine Devry , Robert J. Wilke and George Gaynes. Review: It had been nearly a decade since I last watched The Boy Who Cried Werewolf and, when I came across it this morning, I figured I'd give it another try. I had hoped rewatching the film would change my overall opinion of it. Unfortunately, it didn't. I still think it is a bad movie. Actually, let me put this a different way. I think the movie is hilarious at times. The problem with that is it is a film that isn't supposed to be, at least not intentionally. First, paraphrasing something my daughter s...

Synopsis: After attempting to replicate Frankenstein's experiments, Dr. Gustave Niemann is sent to prison. Niemann, however, escapes with the help of another inmate, Daniel, a hunchback who is looking for a new body. The pair commit murder to take over a traveling horror exhibit and resurrect Dracula, whose body is one of the attractions, to get revenge on the man who sent Niemann to prison. Later, they meet the Wolf Man and come across the original Frankenstein's monster. Who's in it? The movie stars Boris Karloff , John Carradine , Glenn Strange , Lon Chaney, Jr . and Anne Gwynne. Review: I had some time yesterday evening while my wife was at her sewing studio so, since I recently re-watched Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man , I figured I would give House of Frankenstein another try as well. I didn't remember much about this movie, other than I recalled not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. After re-watching it, I now remember why I had that opinion. On the s...

Synopsis: A reputable but eccentric scientist invites a group of colleagues to his remote jungle laboratory to help them with a secret scientific experiment. When they refuse to leave, he believes they intend on stealing credit for his discoveries, shrinks them and holds them captive. At first, he only plans on studying them. However, when he learns the effects of his shrink ray are only temporary, he decides to kill them. Who's in it?  The movie stars Albert Dekker, Thomas Coley, Janice Logan, Charles Halton and Victor Kilian. Review: I had watched Dr. Cyclops on a couple different occasions, both times with my daughter. However, since it had been a while since I last saw it and it is one of my favorite classic science fiction thrillers, I decided to watch it again this morning.  That viewing did nothing to change my mind. It is still one of my favorites. There are quite a few things I like about this movie. One of the main ones is the jungle location of the film. There a...

Synopsis: Walter Mitty uses daydreaming as a way to escape a life of boredom and verbal abuse from his mother, fiancée and others. His dreams of excitement suddenly become too real when he shares a taxi with a woman he met on the train and discovers his life is in danger. Who's in it? The movie stars Danny Kaye , Boris Karloff , Virginia Mayo, Ann Rutherford and Thurston Hall. Review: I remember first watching The Secret Life of Water Mitty about a decade ago with my wife. While I remembered liking it enough to want to see the 2013 Ben Stiller remake (something I have yet to do), I realized that was about all I could recall about the film. So, since I had some time before going into the office this morning, I gave it another try.  Now I remember why I liked it. I have not seen a whole lot of Danny Kaye films, and this is a movie that makes me realize that is a mistake. The movie's script and his role as the title character give him an opportunity to show off his wide range...

There was a time when the Pro Bowl meant something. Selected players, barring an injury, would willingly participate in it, both for the additional paycheck and the free trip to Hawaii. The fact it was held after the Super Bowl also increased the chances of players from the best two teams being involved. Then things changed. Player salaries increased to the point the Pro Bowl check didn't mean as much while the risk of injury watered the product down further by the league taking every precaution to avoid a scandal if a star got hurt playing in a meaningless contest. Fan voting also arguably plays too much of a role, with players being selected because of name recognition rather than anything they did on the field. This is why the NFL should replace it with the Practice Squad Bowl. Here's how I would do it: Each team selects four players that finished the regular season on the practice squad. Those players are divided into the traditional AFC/NFC categories, with each team getti...

Synopsis: Seeking a cure for his werewolf curse, Larry Talbot travels to Ludwig Frankenstein's castle only to discover it has been burned to the ground and the monster still lives. Who's in it? The movie stars Bela Lugosi , Patric Knowles , Dwight Frye , Lionel Atwill and Lon Chaney Jr. Synopsis: It had been ages since I last watched Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man so, when I came across it this morning, I just had to take the time to watch it again. Unfortunately, while I usually enjoy the original Universal monster movies and the expanded universe that was created by them long before that became a regular thing, this one wasn't as good as I remembered. My biggest problem with this movie is, despite the title, Frankenstein's monster (Lugosi) and the Wolf Man (Chaney) share surprisingly little screen time. I would describe this as a film that was more or less a sequel to The Wolf Man that happens to have a cameo from the other monster that lasted only about 10 min...

Synopsis: After being raised in poverty by the Black family that adopted him as a baby, the slow-witted Navin Johnson leaves home and tries to make something of himself. After working at a gas station then for a carnival, a chance meeting and clever invention suddenly give Navin everything he wants, plenty of money and the love of his wife, Marie. However, he soon learns his dream life is about to be ripped away from him. Who's in it? The movie stars Steve Martin , Bernadette Peters, Catlin Adams, M. Emmet Walsh and Bill Macy. Review: I hadn't seen The Jerk since I was a kid and, realizing I didn't remember anything about it, I decided to take the time to watch the movie earlier today. Strangely enough, while I normally enjoy Steve Martin movies, this one left me with a mixed opinion. Martin is, as expected, funny throughout, playing Navin in a way that makes him likeable but at the same time, causing you to roll your eyes because of how stupid he is. The performance m...

Synopsis: Despite being warned by literally everyone she knows, Agatha Raisin finally marries James Lacey and, just as everyone she knew warned her, the marriage quickly goes south as James refuses to give up his bachelor ways and criticizes everything she does while they keep their separate cottages just to have space from each other. Furthering complicating things are the brain tumor James is diagnosed with and his affair with the attractive Melissa Sheppard.  Then, before things between them can be resolved, James goes missing, leaving behind a pool of blood in his cottage. Days later, Melissa is found dead. Despite warnings from the police not to meddle, Agatha, with the help from her friend/sometimes lover Sir Charles, investigates in an attempt to clear both her missing husband of murder and herself. Review : I grabbed Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell the last time I was at the library because, while her on again/off again romance with James Lacey has been one of the th...

Synopsis: After being fired from her weekly fitness show because she's too old, former movie star Elisabeth Sparkle answers an ad offering a way to regain her youth called the Substance. The drug works as advertised, creating a younger version of her who goes by the name Sue and immediately finds her own stardom. However, Sue's success and beauty quickly make Elisabeth jealous while Sue, inconvenienced by the need to switch places with Elisabeth every other week, begins skirting the rules, causing Elisabeth to age faster. Who's in it? The movie stars Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley , Dennis Quaid , Gore Abrams and Oscar Lesage. Review: It's once again too cold for my wife and I to go out (she is feeling a bit under the weather anyway) so we stayed in this evening and searched for a movie to watch. I picked out The Substance because it sounded like it would be an interesting thriller. Unfortunately, while the plot was intriguing, my wife and I both thought the execution ...

Synopsis: Shortly after their captain is murdered, a team of Miami police officers act on a tip and investigate a suspected drug cartel stash house. Expecting to find a few hundred thousand dollars, they are instead surprised to discover more than $20 million. They soon receive a phone call telling them they have 30 minutes to leave or die. On top of it, their lieutenant, Dane, is acting strange and not following procedure, raising suspicions he may be dirty. Who's in it? The movie stars Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Steven Yeun , Teyana Taylor and Kyle Chandler. Review: My taste in movies tends to differ from most people and, because of that, I rarely select a film based on other people's recommendations. However, several people have mentioned The Rip  and, when I came across it on Netflix tonight, I figured I'd give it a try. I was not disappointed. The thing I liked best about this movie is the way it has a variety of mysteries that collide at once. There is the mystery of...

 Old Man Winter stood in his corner. His face had an evil grin. He was full of confidence Because he was expecting another win. "Not so fast," the crowd seemed to be saying. "We have a hunch, Your opponent, the Wisconsin Badger, won't fall so easily. Cause those Wisconsin folk are a hearty bunch." The fans did not know That, tonight, they would have no reason to cheer and shout. Because tonight was the night Even the Wisconsin Badger would tap out. The Wisconsin Badger stood firm Through Old Man Winter's first brutal assault. And, for a brief moment, he appeared to have an upper hand. Then his momentum came to a sudden halt. Old Man Winter held him tight In his ice-cold grasp. All the Wisconsin Badger could do Was fight for air with each and every troubled gasp. Old Man Winter then began pounding the Wisconsin Badger With his icy fists of snow. In no time at all, the Wisconsin Badger Was stuck in a corner with no place to go. As Old Man Winter's brutal a...

Synopsis: In danger of losing their funding because of a skeptical benefactor, a team of scientists work to prove they can use lasers to see into the past and, eventually, into the future. Instead, a time warp sends their entire lab 5,000 years into the future, when Earth has been destroyed by war and mankind is on the verge of wiping itself out. They attempt to return to their own time so they can try to warn people before it is too late but their journey encounters complications that send them too far into the past. The film also goes by the title Time Warp . Who's in it? The movie stars Scott Brady , Anthony Eisley , Gigi Perreau , Abraham Sofaer and Tracy Olsen. Review: I came across Journey to the Center of Time on Amazon Prime last night and, while I am always a bit skeptical of time travel movies, it sounded interesting enough to give it a try. I ended up watching it this morning and it ended up being what I expected. Not necessarily in a good way. The premise of the mov...

Synopsis: Sach Jones buys an old lamp at the pawn shop and is surprised to discover it contains a genie willing to grant his every wish, something his friend Slip Mohoney quickly tries to capitalize on as well. However, the lamp is soon stolen by a group of gangsters working for Duke Dolan who, after learning the genie can only grant wishes made by Sach and Slip, attempt to abduct the pair as well. Meanwhile, a pair of Arabs are also hunting for the lamp and join in the chaos. Who's in it? The movie stars Leo Gorcey , Huntz Hall , Bernard Gorcey , Eric Blore and Robert Bice. Review: When I came across Bowery to Bagdad this morning, I had quite a few doubts about the film. Bowery Boys movies, especially some of the later ones, have always been a bit hit-or-miss for me and this seemed like one that was taking things a little too out of the realm of believability. However, I watched it this morning and it turned out to be one of my favorites. As is the case with other later films...

Synopsis: A successful cosmetic company owner, Janice Starlin is informed sales are decreasing because she is the face of the company and her customers see her getting noticeably older. When the eccentric Dr. Eric Zinthrop shows he can reduce aging with a serum he created using royal jelly from a queen wasp, Janice agrees to fund his research on the condition she is used as one of his test subjects. The serum works and she is soon twenty years younger. However, the serum comes with an unexpected side effect, she periodically turns into a deadly wasp-like creature. Who's in it? The movie stars Susan Cabot , Anthony Eisley , Michael Mark, Barboura Morris and William Reorick. Review: I am a fan of most Roger Corman movies and when I came across The Wasp Woman on Amazon Prime, I decided to add it to my watch list as a result. Truthfully, it wasn't one of my favorites from the director, but I also didn't hate it. The film is pretty much what you'd expect from a movie ma...

Synopsis: From the time she was a little girl, Wong Liu Tsong wanted to be an actress and gets an opportunity to do so as a teenage when she is discovered while working as a movie extra. Going by the stage name Anna May Wong, she quickly rises to international fame. However, her Chinese American heritage and skin color continue to provide an obstacle to her dreams of being a leading lady who isn't typecast by racist Hollywood while her chosen profession creates a rift between her and her father. Review: To be perfectly honest, I had a lot of doubts about The Brightest Star when I reserved a copy of it through my local library. While I am, as I've mentioned in the past, a fan of old movies and Hollywood history, I wasn't sure what to expect from a book that is based on the life of a real celebrity but told in a way that even the author describes as fiction. Still, I gave it a shot while hiding indoors from the cold this weekend and it turned out to be a book I couldn'...

Synopsis: Shortly after her blind and wealthy husband is killed in an explosion, a woman starts seeing him in her dreams. When her dreams become more realistic, she begins to suspect both her deceased husband and a mysterious lover really are visiting her and enlists her husband's attorney to help her figure out the truth. Who's in it?  The movie stars Robert Taylor , Barbara Stanwyck , Judi Meredith, Hayden Rorke and Rochelle Hudson. Review: Everyone was still in bed this morning and it was too early/too cold so shovel snow so I decided to use my alone time to watch a movie. I recently came across The Night Walker again and since I didn't remember much about it, decided to give it another try. It turned out to be a good choice. Even though this movie is classified in the horror/thriller, I disagreed and wouldn't put it in that category The somewhat bizarre wedding scene was a little creepy, but the movie never reached a point where it was overly intense or even suspen...

Multiple reports state the Green Bay Packers have agreed to a multi-year extension with Head Coach Matt LaFleur, as well as General Manager Brian Gutekunst, choosing to make a renewed commitment to both despite the former losing to the division rival Chicago Bears in the wild card round of the NFL playoffs last week. Assuming the reports are true, speculation (and hope from some fans) about Matt LaFleur being fired or traded proved to be just that. Ultimately though, it was ultimately the most logical outcome for both the team and LaFleur himself. So logical in fact, we probably should never have doubted it. The idea of Green Bay parting with LaFleur because of a playoff loss always seemed knee jerk and out of character for a franchise that has had just 15 head coaches (not counting interim coaches) in its nearly 107-year history. It is a team that knows the value of patience and stability when it comes to coaches. At least in hindsight, it was kind of ridiculous to think they would be...

Synopsis: Four years after escaping and killing the Grabber, a 17-year-old Finn is struggling to feel normal again. Meanwhile, his sister, Gwen begins having dreams about their mom, three murdered boys and a campground at Alpine Lake. After convincing a reluctant Finn to go with her under the pretense of being counselors in training, the brother and sister, along with Gwen's boyfriend, Ernesto, soon find themselves snowed in by a blizzard and targeted by the Grabber's spirit, who is seeking revenge on Finn by targeting Gwen through her dreams. Who's in it? The movie stars Ethan Hawke , Mason Thames , Madeleine McGraw , Arianna Rivas and Jeremy Davies. Review: It's cold and snowy outside so my wife and I decided to just spend the day at home. After re-watching The Black Phone this afternoon, we made ourselves comfortable on the couch to watch Black Phone 2. I've said this before and I'll say it again, not every movie needs a sequel. This is a good example of ...