Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: Following a car accident that left his wife dead, architect Frank Bannister is given the ability to see and talk to ghosts. Depressed over her loss, he gives up his career and with the help of three ghost friends, performs fake exorcisms. Shortly after being exposed as a conman, Frank becomes the primary suspect when people start dying under mysterious circumstances. With the police and an overzealous FBI agent on his trail, he must stop the supernatural entity responsible for the deaths before it kills again. Who's in it? The movie stars Michael J. Fox , Trini Alvarado , Peter Dobson, John Astin , Jake Busey , R. Lee Ermey and Jeffrey Combs . Review: I came across this movie a few nights ago shortly after watching another film with my wife. I had seen this movie before but realized I didn’t remember much about it, so I ended up re-watching it today. While the movie isn’t quite as good as I remembered, it was still pretty decent. One thing I like about this movie is th...

Synopsis: Depressed and still pining for James Lacey, Agatha Raisin randomly chooses the small village of Fryfam and rents a cottage to get away. She quickly begins to regret the decision, especially when she sees mysterious lights in her garden at night and items inside her rented home go missing. It isn't long, however, before she and her friend/sometimes lover Sir Charles Fraith wind up investigating another murder. This time, Agatha is one of the suspects. Review: As is the case most years, I am using my remaining vacation time to take the last two weeks of the year off from my day job. I knew I would need some books to read and picked out Agatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam at my local library. While I am admittedly beginning to warm up to Agatha Raisin a bit, this book wasn't one of my favorites. My biggest problem with the book, and many other books in the series, is Agatha's obsession with James. It's just something that seems forced, especially since she...

Synopsis: Strapped for cash and taking care of a sick brother who needs a bone marrow transfusion, Iris agrees to attend a dinner party thrown by a wealthy philanthropist in the hopes he will give her money and move her brother to the top of the donor list. What she doesn’t know is she and seven other guests must first compete in a sadistic version of the game, Would You Rather, until only one person is left alive. Who's in it?  The movie stars Brittany Snow , Jeffrey Combs , Lawrence Gillard Jr., Sasha Grey, John Heard and Robin Lord Taylor. Review: After another family Mario Kart night, my wife and daughters were still in bed, giving me some free time this morning. I wasn't in the mood to watch another television rerun and instead decided to re-watch Would You Rather . This was not a decision I regretted. I love psychological thrillers, at least when they are done correctly, and this film does everything right. The game that is played, while relatively simple, opened up a ...

Synopsis: For 1,000 years, Santa Claus, the spawn of Satan, has been cursed to deliver presents to children around the world. Now that the 1,000 years is up, he is free to return to his murderous ways and takes his wrath out on a small town in Canada. It's up to teenager Nicholas Yuleson to stop him. Who's in it? The movie stars Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Raven, Dave Thomas and Fran Drescher. Review: My wife and I were having a slow start to our Christmas Eve and as we were scrolling through channels, came across Santa's Slay . I had lowered expectations about this movie, but it ended up being surprisingly good. I think the thing I liked best about this film is it found just the right amount of balance to be a decent horror/comedy. The film clearly wasn't taking itself seriously and keeping things entertaining but the filmmakers knew to stop before it reached a point it was too goofy. It actually reminded me a lot of a 1980s horror film even though it wa...

One of my favorite things about this time of year is being able to watch, or rewatch, holiday movies. They are inspiring, have some great stories and in the case of Christmas-themed horror movies, often have some memorable villains. And let's face it, without a good villain (even when that villain also happens to be the protagonist), Christmas movies often fall flat. Something I've noticed with holiday movies though is there are often villains that go unnoticed or at least unrecognized for their efforts. Here are five of my examples: Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi, Die Hard (1988) -  To start, yes, I consider Die Hard a Christmas movie. All the arguments to the contrary could also be used to describe plenty of other recognized Christmas films and therefore are invalid in my book.  While Hans Gruber ( Alan Rickman ) is obviously the main villain in this film, Takagi (James Shigeta) deserves recognition as well because what kind of employer holds a company party on Christmas Eve? Th...

Synopsis: Chicago divorce attorney Lucy's hard work has paid off with a Christmas Eve promotion to partner at her law firm. It has, however, come at the expense of her relationship with her family, her best friend, Nadine, and the guy she was once in love with, Matt. When she bumps into Matt at a cafe, it brings back old feelings and soon after, she is transported back to 1999 by a magical rideshare driver. At first, Lucy thinks it is an opportunity to correct the mistakes she made when she was 19 but she soon learns if she makes any changes, it will drastically alter her future and cost her the promotion. Who's in it? The movie stars Eva Bourne, Chandler Massey , Katherine Barrell, Alex Hook and Jenny Raven. Review: I've had A '90s Christmas in my movie library for about a year and as I was looking for a movie to watch, I decided to finally give the Hallmark movie a try. Overall, I think I can safely say it was better than I expected. I don't say this about a l...

Synopsis: Isabel takes her job as an inspector for Santa's naughty-or-nice list seriously and is in line for a promotion. However, when doing a re-evaluation of Charlie, an 11-year-old girl on the naughty list, she falls for Charlie's widowed father, Jason, and breaks a number of rules by dating him. As she puts her job in jeopardy, Isabel realizes there is a lot of gray area between naughty and nice and begins to question the overall system. Who's in it? The movie stars Lacey Chabert , Andrew W. Walker , Cadence Compton, Steve Bacic and Louriza Tronco. Review: My wife and I still haven't found much time to do our annual Hallmark Christmas movie watching but since we were both home at a reasonable hour this evening, I convinced her to at least watch Lacey Chabert's latest film, She's Making a List . Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the magical film we were hoping for. One common complaint I have with films is many get ruined by trying to do too much. This ...

Synopsis: After losing his job, Chris Carver becomes determined to win an annual Christmas decorating contest and its $100,000 prize. His search for additional decorations leads him to a Christmas shop located under a freeway and to the elf running the place, Pepper. Chris purchases a tree based on the song "12 Days of Christmas" but doesn't read the fine print on the receipt. Soon after, the various gifts from the song become real, wreaking havoc on Chris and his family. He then learns he must retrieve the golden rings by 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve or he will be turned into a glass Christmas figurine. Who's in it? The movie stars Eddie Murphy , Jillian Bell, Tracee Ellis Ross, David Alan Grier and Madison Thomas. Review: As someone who is Gen X, I still prefer the 1980s/early 90s Eddie Murphy to the family-friendly movie version today. However, when I came across Candy Cane Lane , I was intrigued enough by the plot to give him and the movie a try. After watching it ...

Synopsis: The 1980 film Airplane! is a movie that has inspired generations of comedy films despite casting actors that, up until that point, had no comedic experience. This book, written by the men who made the movie, tells the story of how the film came to be along with behind-the-scenes tidbits. Review: I first saw Airplane! when I was too young to understand why a good chunk of the jokes were supposed to be funny. As I got older and re-watched the film easily a dozen or more times, I began to appreciate both the comedy and the cultural impact the movie had. So, when I came across Surely You Can't Be Serious at the library, I decided to check it out. I was not disappointed by this choice. The thing that I like most about this book is how it is how the story is told by the people who were involved with the film instead of someone telling the story second-hand. The anecdotes relating to how the film came to be and what happened when the cameras weren't rolling just hit diff...

Synopsis: Gotham City is facing a new villainous threat, Shredder and his Foot Clan have teamed with Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins to turn all Gotham's residents into mutants. As Batman attempts to save the day, he finds himself teaming with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. However, their alliance is threatened when the turtles prove to be too undisciplined for Batman. Who's in it? The animated movie uses voices from Troy Baker, Eric Bauza, Tom Kenny , Tara Strong and John DiMaggio. Review: I was flipping through channels this morning, looking for something to watch (or at least provide some background noise) while I had breakfast and came across Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles . While I rolled my eyes at first, I was also admittedly intrigued and decided to watch it.  It was about what I expected, and I mean that both in a good and bad way. I'll start out by saying the plot of the movie was surprisingly good. The team-up between Shredder (Andrew ...

Synopsis: An apartment building manager and his two friends check up on an elderly scientist who is behind on his rent and discover a machine that has been taking photographs of their apartment and showing scenes that take place 24 hours into the future. After learning the scientist is now deceased, they decide to pretend he is still alive and use the machine to make money. Their plan works. However, the stress of having to pose exactly like the photos show (or risk the consequences of stopping their timeline) and various other obstacles quickly begin to take their toll. Who's in it? The movie stars Danielle Panabaker , Matt O’Leary, George Finn, Amin Joseph and Jason Spisak. Review: I came across Time Lapse a couple nights ago and even though I had seen it before, I couldn't remember it and decided to give it another watch. I have to admit it was better than I expected. The thing I found I liked best about this film was the overall mystery. At first, the premise seemed simp...

Synopsis: A struggling sculptor rescues a deformed mad man from the river, nurses him back to health and uses him as a model for his next work of art. However, frustrated by bad reviews, he eventually uses "The Creeper" to get revenge on the critics that have left him hungry and unable to pay his bills. Who's in it?  The movie stars Rondo Hatton, Robert Lowery , Virginia Grey , Martin Kosleck, Alan Napier and Bill Goodwin. Review: My oldest daughter and I watched House of Horrors some time ago but when I came across it again this evening, I didn't remember much about it. I gave it a chance, and it proved to be as good as I remembered. There is an award celebrating classic horror research creativity and preservation named and modeled after actor Rondo Hatton. This movie is a great example of the reasons why. His performance as the Creeper is one that stands the test of time, even nearly 80 years after this movie first was released. His character was a remorseless ki...

Synopsis: Television executive Frank Cross earned his position as president of IBC by being ambitious and ruthless. Now, two days before Christmas, he is set to make television history with a live, star-studded version of A Christmas Carol . However, his plans are soon disrupted when his deceased mentor visits him and concerned for Cross' future, arranges for the executive to meet three ghosts, putting Cross in danger of losing his job as he re-learns the spirit of Christmas. Who's in it?  The movie stars Bill Murray , Karen Allen , John Forsythe, Carol Kane and Bobcat Goldthwait. Review: I had some down time yesterday afternoon after running a bunch of errands yesterday morning and came across Scrooged on one of my movie sites. It had been a few years since I last watched the movie in its entirety, so I picked it. I wasn't disappointed with the decision. Without doing any real research, my guess is there are dozens of re-tellings of A Christmas Carol, including multiple...

Synopsis: Silent film actors Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms and Ned Nederlander are best known for playing gunfighters known as the Three Amigos on the big screen. When they demand more money, they are instead fired by the studio but think they are catching a big break when they receive a telegram asking them to travel to a small Mexican to put on a private performance. When they arrive, however, they discover the village believes the Three Amigos are real and they have been summoned to fight a real-life gang of outlaws led by the vicious El Guapo. Who's in it? The movie stars Steve Martin , Chevy Chase , Martin Short, Alfonso Arau, Kai Wulff and Jon Lovitz. Review: My day job (AKA, how I pay my bills) requires me to use all my vacation time each year and I was home this afternoon as a result of that. I had some things planned for my free time but forgot about most of them when I came across Three Amigos! What can I say, I love this movie and re-watching it for the umpteenth time did...

Synopsis: Despite her name, Krissy Kringle is having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. Her water heater doesn't work, her credit cards are maxed out, she just lost her job and her boyfriend of 6 years, Lance, doesn't seem interested in marrying her. To top it off, her name and the fact she lives on Candy Cane Lane results in her getting hundreds of letters meant for Santa Claus. Things begin to change for her when she accidentally receives Santa's Naughty or Nice list. However, while she initially thinks it is a blessing, Krissy's opinion soon changes when she learns about the naughty things those closest to her have done. Who's in it? The movie stars Hillarie Burton Morgan, Matt Dallas, Gabriel Tigerman, Danneel Ackles , Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross . Review: I have had Naughty or Nice in my movie library for a couple years and since my wife and I have never gotten around to watching the Hallmark film, I figured I'd give it a shot this morni...

I woke up this morning to the tragic news about director Rob Reiner and his wife Michele. It's a horrible tragedy and my prayers go out to their family. I'm not the type of person who normally picks a movie based on who directed it but there are some exceptions. Rob Reiner is right up there with Mel Brooks, Alfred Hitchcock and Steven Spielberg in this regard, especially as someone who grew up in the 80s and early 90s, when he had some of his biggest hits. Here is my list of personal favorites: The Princess Bride (1987) What can I say, The Princess Bride is as perfect a movie as you're going to come across with something for just about everybody. There's action, adventure, romance, comedy, suspense, a bond between grandfather and grandson and arguably the best sword fighting scene in cinema history. Even my kids love it. Misery (1990) Not all Stephen King book adaptations are the same. Some are average films; others are horrible films. This movie is a great one. I stil...

Synopsis: The greedy Silas Barnaby wants to marry the beautiful Bo-Peep and when she rejects his proposal and instead decides to marry Tom-Tom, the Pied Piper, he threatens to evict her mother and her large family from the shoe they live in. Two boarders, Stannie and Ollie Dum offer to help by getting money from the toymaker they work for. However, their incompetence results in the pair being fired while other attempts to save the day end in disaster. The movie also goes by the title March of the Wooden Soldiers . Who's in it? The movie stars Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Charlotte Henry , Felix Knight, Virginia Karns and Henry Brandon . Review: As I search for new (and old) movies to watch, I am sometimes amazed with some of the inaccurate film descriptions that are out there. It's honestly as though the people who wrote them didn't bother watching the movie. In the case of Babes in Toyland , for example, the photo showed the 1986 Drew Barrymore movie, the description was ...

Synopsis: As Christmas approaches and a radio station deejay plays holiday music, a group of documentary students are terrorized at a haunted boarding school, a child is replaced by a changeling, a family is stalked by Krampus and Santa is forced to hunt and kill his elves after they are turned into zombies. Who's in it?  The movie stars William Shatner , George Buza, Amy Forsyth , Michelle Nolden and Rob Archer. Review: I came across A Christmas Horror Story on Netflix several years ago and remembered enjoying it. So, when I had an opportunity to watch it again, I decided to do so. It was as good as I recalled. The movie isn't as quite as scary as I would prefer, mostly because the monsters do look a bit fake. However, even without the scares, it's still an entertaining film. One thing that intrigued me was the way the four, completely separate, stories were happening at the same time without any apparent connection other than the deejay (Shatner) playing the music. It m...

Synopsis: A bitter miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, sees Christmas as nothing more than a "humbug" and makes sure everyone around him knows that. However, the ghost of his former business partner arranges for the three Christmas spirits to visit Scrooge on Christmas Eve and force him to see why he is wrong. Who's in it? The movie stars George C. Scott, Frank Finlay , Angela Pleasence, David Warner and Edward Woodward. Review: It is way too cold outside today, cold enough to leave me a bit breathless just walking from my car to the grocery store. So, since the Green Bay Packers had a later game and I had the house to myself, I decided to re-watch this version of A Christmas Carol .  I've seen quite a few versions of this film, but this one is easily at the top of my list of favorites. I think part of the reason for this is Scott (despite not having a strong British accent) was very convincing as Ebenezer Scrooge. He had a strong presence in the film that was both believable ...

Synopsis: Two years after the AI doll she created, M3GAN, went on a killing spree, Gemma is a published author and vocal advocate for artificial intelligence regulation even as her business is failing and she continues to struggle to bond with her niece, Cady. When a military-grade AI, Amelia, goes rogue, Gemma, who comes under investigation from the FBI, learns the weapon was built with M3GAN's tech. Soon after, she learns M3GAN's consciousness is still alive and, desperate, reluctantly seeks her creation's help. Who's in it? The movie stars Allison Williams , Violet McGraw , Ivanna Sakhno, Amie Donald and Jenna Davis . Review: With windchills reaching as low as negative 30, it was too cold to go out last night, so my wife and I stayed in and finally watched M3GAN 2.0 with our teenage daughter. Even though we all enjoyed M3GAN when we watched it, I had some doubts about the sequel. As it turned out, the doubts were justified but the movie was still better than ex...

Synopsis: Teenagers Rickie and JT cut class and explore an abandoned insane asylum. While escaping a guard dog, they entered a locked room and discover a naked woman tied to a table. Rather than freeing the woman, who they later learn cannot be killed, JT, instead, decides to keep her tied up so he and his friends can continually rape her, something Rickie is opposed to but is too weak to prevent. Who's in it? The movie stars Shiloh Fernandez , Noah Segan, Candice Accola, Eric Podnar, Jenny Spain and Susan Marie Keller. Review: I remember watching Deadgirl in the past and not enjoying it all that much. However, as I've said before, I am a big believer in second chances and figured I'd give it another try. After rewatching it, I am proud to say my original opinion of the movie was the correct one. If I were to classify this movie under a specific category, it would be under zombie rape porn. It's about a couple high school boys (Segan and Wheeler) who keep a female zo...

Synopsis: Rich miser Ebenezer Scrooge hates Christmas and his fellow man. On the night of Christmas Eve, he is visited by the ghost of his dead business partner, Jacob Marley, who warns Scrooge of three spirits that will visit him during the night in an attempt to convince him to change his ways before it is too late. Who's in it? The movie stars Albert Finney , Alec Guinness , Kenneth More and Edith Evans. Review: I wasn’t really planning on watching any Christmas movies yesterday afternoon. However, I couldn’t find anything good on TV and, since it had been a long while since I saw Scrooge , I decided to give it a chance. For the most part, I didn't regret that decision. In all honesty, as a musical, this movie does lack a little something. The songs just weren’t that catchy and made the movie drag on a bit more than I normally prefer. In fact, I don’t think they added a whole lot to the film in general and it probably would have been slightly better had the writers just ...

Synopsis: Charlie Newton is thrilled when she learns her mom's younger brother, Charlie (the man she is named after) is coming to visit. However, when her uncle arrives, she notices his behavior is erratic and begins to suspect he is wanted for murder when two detectives arrive looking for him. Who's in it?  The movie stars Teresa Wright , Joseph Cotten , Henry Travers, MacDonald Carey and Wallace Ford. Review: I came across Shadow of a Doubt on one our movie channels last night and, since I had the day off and needed a break from running errands, I decided to re-watch it. Since it had been a long time since I last watched it, I didn't remember a whole lot about it. However, the Alfred Hitchcock movie more than lived up to my expectations. I think the thing I liked best about this movie was the mystery surrounding Uncle Charlie (Cotten). He was definitely acting suspiciously. However, since it was a Hitchcock film, I wasn't sure if he was really the killer or if he ...

My wife was in her sewing studio yesterday evening, working on Christmas gifts, and while I had some time while waiting for her, I ended up re-watching It's a Wonderful Life for the first time in a few years. As I did and was reminded of some things I had forgotten about the film and a couple I hadn't noticed before. Mr. Potter ( Lionel Barrymore ) is a character that still sticks in my crawl. This movie could be considered a perfect film in a lot of ways but, at least in my opinion, falls a bit short because Potter doesn't get any sort of comeuppance for stealing money, doesn't have a redeeming change of heart and, despite anything, remains a respected member (albeit not very well liked) member of the community. Yes, you could make the argument it doesn't matter because this is George Bailey's (James Stewart) story. I disagree though. In fact, George was kind of an ass at times too. Sure, he made sacrifices, stayed in Bedford Falls running the family business...