Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: College student Alma returns to Tonopah, Nevada and the world-famous Clown Motel in search of information that will help prove the land rightfully belongs to her Native American tribe, which had the land stolen in a massacre. While there, she ends up in the middle of an attempt at revenge by the remaining natives as they raise a spirit, the Chindi, to hunt down a group of bankers who prevented them from purchasing the motel while it was for sale. Who's in it? The movie stars Tobin Bell , James Chalke , Jonathan Champ, Juliana Destefano and Randy Couture.  Review: My wife and I were scrolling through movies on Amazon Prime earlier today and came across The Curse of the Clown Motel . It looked interesting, so we flagged it for later and ended up watching it this evening.  It was not a good choice. The best way to describe this movie is it was something that wasn't even close to what you'd expect from a supernatural horror film that takes place in a motel filled w...

Synopsis: With his hours at the factory cut back and his wife, Denise, starting a new job, money is tight for John Archibald and his family. When his son, Michael, collapses at a youth baseball game, doctors determine he needs a new heart. However, John learns his insurance company won't cover the $250,000 cost and the hospital won't even put Michael on the list unless he pays $75,000 up front. Despite his best efforts to raise the money, hospital administrator Rebecca Payne decides to send Michael home to die. Desperate to prevent that from happening and determined to force Payne to put Michael on the transplant list, John brings a gun to the hospital and takes both transplant surgeon Dr. Raymond Turner and the occupants of the emergency room hostage. Who's in it? The movie stars Denzel Washington , James Woods , Anne Heche, Robert Duvall, Eddie Griffin and Ray Liotta . Review: We didn't have any plans to go out last night and instead spent our Friday at home watchin...

Synopsis: Ed and Lorraine Warren are retired from paranormal investigating because of Ed's heart issues. However, after their long-time friend, Father Gordon, dies while trying to help a family, the Smurls, their 22-year-old daughter, Judy, who shares Lorraine's psychic gifts convinces them to help. However, as they conduct the investigation, they discover a link to their past and go face-to-face with the demon that nearly took Judy's life and is now seeking to finish the job. Who's in it? The movie stars Patrick Wilson , Vera Farmiga , Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy and Steve Coulter. Review: While I've never been a huge fan of The Conjuring movies, my wife is. So, when we came across The Conjuring: Last Rites on HBO Max this evening, we ended up watching it. After doing so, I have to say it was a good choice. I think the thing that impressed me most with this film is it was genuinely scary. Not to the point I will have nightmares or be afraid to walk into a dark roo...

  We are expecting a snowstorm tomorrow, so I went to the grocery store for some necessities (AKA cat food) just in case we got snowed in. While there, I figured I'd pick up something for lunch so we could save Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner and decided to finally give Ragu Frozen Pizza a try since it was on sale for $5.99. Overall, I'd say the pizza exceeded my expectations, though it did fall a bit short of being one of my favorite frozen pizza choices. We made it this afternoon as planned, and my wife and I were both impressed with the taste. The sauce had a good flavor while the pepperoni and sausage added a bit of spice without being too spicy.  I also liked the crust, which was the perfect balance of not being too thin while also not being too thick. This resulted in it having just the right amount of crispiness when making it with our pizza oven. My only real complaint about the pizza was the lack of toppings, both quantity and variety. Normally, if I hear the descri...

Synopsis: Lincoln Six Echo and Jordan Two Delta live in a complex with others they believe to be survivors of a global viral pandemic waiting their turn to go to "the island," the last region of the world that is not infected. When Jordan has her name chosen in the lottery, she thinks her dream of going to the island has finally come true. However, an unusually curious Lincoln discovers the truth - there was no pandemic and the lottery "winners" are instead being chosen to have their organs harvested. Who's in it? The movie stars Scarlett Johansson , Ewan McGregor ,  Djimon Hounsou , Sean Bean , Michael Clarke Duncan and Steve Buscemi . Review: I was in the mood to watch a movie yesterday evening and looked for one while my wife took a shower. I was undecided about some of the newer movies so decided to keep things simple and pick out an old favorite, The Island . It had been a while since I last watched this movie, and I was surprised by a few things I had f...

People who know me know I'm really not that big on nostalgia. However, there are exceptions to that, including my tendency to re-watch some of my favorite shows from when I was a kid (and some from before I was a kid). This includes Night Court , which I've watched in re-runs more times than I can count, including as recent as this morning. One thing I've noticed as I once again rewatched the series that ran from 1984 until 1992 is, while the outstanding ensemble of main characters is obviously what people remember, the show also got a nice boost from what I like to refer to as part-time employees. These are characters that were only on the show for a short time, either for certain storylines as a fill in for when one of the main cast members was absent or left the series. They may not have been there long or received top billing, but they kept Night Court rolling. Here are my five favorites:  Court Clerk Mavis Tuttle (Alice Drummond) - I won't go into details about th...

As much time as I spend watching old movies and nearly as old television series, I probably shouldn't be surprised when I receive ads for hearing aids and retirement homes. However, while most of those movies and shows were before my time, I will be the first to argue many are better than what you can see at theaters and on TV today. In fact, Hollywood seems to agree with me, both because of the numerous movie remakes and films based on classic television series. While the latter is a bit hit or miss, with some of those movies being not-so-great, there are a few that do work. Here are four I personally enjoyed. Just a note: The Simpsons Movie would have made this list too, if the show wasn't still on the air. Sgt. Bilko (1996) I haven't seen more than a few episodes of The Phil Silvers Show but did see enough to get the gist of that series, which ran from 1955-1959, and while there are those who disagree, this movie version of Silvers ' military character, Sgt. Ernest...

Synopsis: After Louie's window is once again broken by a stray baseball, Slip Mahoney and Sach travel to Dr. David Gravesend's home to convince him to let the neighborhood kids use one of his Bowery commercial properties as a baseball diamond. When they arrive, they discover a home filled with eccentric relatives, an ape, a man-eating plant and vampires. They also discover Gravesend plans to use Slip's head for a robot he and his relative, Anton, are building. Who's in it? The movie stars Leo Gorcey , Huntz Hall , Bernard Gorcey , Lloyd Corrigan and John Dehner. Review: I hadn't planned on watching a movie this morning because it was foggy outside and I figured I should leave for the office a bit earlier as a result. However, when I came across The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters , I decided to give it a try. I am happy to report I still made it to the office safely. My opinion about the movie, however, was a bit mixed. I'll start by saying, even though it isn...

Synopsis: Seeking to earn a partnership in her father’s company, Sam agrees to oversee the demolition of a remote apartment building designed by a notorious the architect known for murdering people and entombing his victims within its walls. Shortly after learning more about the hotel’s history, Sam also learns her life is in danger. Who's in it?  The movie stars Mischa Barton , Deborah Kara Unger, Cameron Bright, Eugene Clark and Pascal Greggory. Review: I came across this movie earlier this week and, mostly because it had been a while since I last watched it, I decided to give it a try again while I had the house to myself. My opinion remains mixed. There were some good things about the movie. The nearly empty apartment building, for example, had a creepy vibe to it even before its history was revealed and the few people that still lived in it only helped to add to that creepiness. This included the Norman Bates-like Jimmy (Bright). He seemed friendly but it was also obvious th...

Synopsis: When 17 students from the same elementary school class walk out of their houses at 2:17 a.m. and disappear, their teacher, Justine Gandy, comes under suspicion from the angry parents. She, however, thinks the disappearances might have something to do with Alex, the only student in her class not to go missing. Who's in it? The movie stars Josh Brolin , Julia Garner , Benedict Wong, Cary Christopher and Alden Ehrenreich. Review: I didn't have a chance to see Weapons when it was at the theater but had several friends tell me it was the most terrifying film they had ever seen. I was intrigued so, when I saw I could watch it on HBO Max, my wife and I finally gave it a try. For the record, it is not the most terrifying movie I've ever seen, and I am starting to think I shouldn't trust my friends' judgment when it comes to horror movies. It was, however, a relatively enjoyable film. As far as the horror element goes, this movie was, at best, average. There we...

Synopsis: Years after dinosaurs repopulate the planet, the climate proves to be incompatible in most regions and they die out except for a few isolated regions near the equator that have been declared off limits to humans. Needing dinosaur DNA for a heart disease drug his pharmaceutical company wants to produce, executive Martin Krebs hires a covert extraction expert, Zora Bennett and paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis to lead a team to collect DNA from three giant dinosaur species. Their already difficult and highly illegal task becomes even more complicated when they rescue a family from their overturned boat and then end up shipwrecked themselves. Who's in it? The movie stars Scarlett Johannson , Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo and Luna Blaise. Review: While my wife and I are both fans of the Jurassic Park franchise, our disappointment over Jurassic World Dominion was a bit reason why we didn't pay to see Jurassic World Rebirth at the theater (I didn...

Synopsis: Even though he isn't interested in becoming a priest, Michael Kovak decides to join the seminary so he can get his college education and escape his father's funeral home business. After graduation, he is recruited to travel to Italy and participate in an exorcism course. When his religious doubts get in the way, his professor instructs him to spend time with a veteran exorcist. Who's in it?  The movie stars Colin O'Donoghue, Anthony Hopkins , Alice Braga, Toby Jones and Marta Gastini. Review: I had originally planned on re-watching the movie Sharknado this afternoon but, as is often the case, I ended up glancing at some other choices prior to making that commitment and, as a result of that, decided to watch this movie instead. This is a film I've seen in the past but didn't remember much about it. It ended up being a good choice. The thing I think I liked best about this movie was the way the writers kept the exorcisms from being over-the-top. In part...

  My brain is all befuddled. Every time I have a thought, it's pulled away with a yank. I want to be productive. I want to be creative. Instead, I'm drawing a blank. Image courtesy of Arya_W via Pixabay Maybe it's old age. Maybe it's stress. Who knows, it could be an old brain injury Coming back to haunt me by leaving my head all a mess. All I know is putting thoughts into actions or words Is becoming a bit like navigating through a China shop while driving a tank. No matter what the explanation is, My mind keeps drawing a blank. _________________________________________________ If you liked this, here are some of my other poems: Join the Circus (A Poem) Artificial Intelligence (A Poem) In the Way (A Poem) The Day Dad Made the House Dark (A Poem)

Synopsis: A pathologist becomes obsessed with fear and how the emotion can cause people to die. After conducting a series of experiments, he discovers a parasitic creature that grows when people are scared and can only be stopped when someone screams. He captures the creature in an effort to study it closer but, in doing so, puts people in danger. Who's in it?  The movie stars Vincent Price , Patricia Cutts, Judith Evelyn, Daryl Hickman and Philip Coolidge. Review: The Tingler was on my "to-watch" list for a few months before I finally got around to watching it with my daughter several years ago and was pleasantly surprised by it. Since it had been so long, I decided to re-watch it and it still proved to be an unexpected treat. The film takes a little while to get started, with the writers building up the suspense up until the point he finally finds and captures "the Tingler." Unlike way too many other movies though, it does prove to be worth the wait because o...

Synopsis: When two of his friends disappear while in Austria, Sir Ronald Burton suspects the sinister Count Karl von Bruno may be the person responsible. Traveling under an alias, Burton decides to investigate. However, von Bruno quickly sees through the ruse and Burton's life is soon in danger as he tries to escape the trap-filled castle. Who's in it? The movie stars Richard Greene, Boris Karloff , Lon Chaney, Jr. , Paula Corday and Stephen McNally. Review: I had some free time yesterday evening while waiting to start dinner and my wife was at her sewing studio. So, I decided to fill it by re-watching The Black Castle for the first time in several years. The movie, once again, did not disappoint. Despite the film being classified as a horror movie and starring two horror movie legends, Karloff and Chaney, I would disagree with that description. Instead, I would put this movie in the swashbuckling action film category.  Part of the reason for this was the casting of Greene (...

Synopsis: After a series of magnetic abnormalities lead to strange occurrences and numerous deaths around the planet, Dr. Joshua "Josh" Keyes determines it is the result of the Earth's core slowing down, a catastrophic event that could result in the destruction of the planet. With the help of the world's governments, he and a team use a special transport, known as Virgil, to borrow into the Earth's layers and attempt to restart the core with nuclear bombs. Who's in it? The movie stars Aaron Eckhart , Hilary Swank, DJ Qualls , Stanley Tucci and Christopher Shyer. Review: I am burning off vacation time at my day job and had this afternoon off as a result. In between doing some household chores, I wound up re-watching The Core for about the dozenth time and it remains one of my favorites. I am not going to go as far as to say this is a perfect movie. Some of the stuff seems a bit farfetched and the film does "yadda yadda" over some of the science re...

Synopsis: After serving his country for a number of years as a secret agent, John Stryker wants to settle down and run his business. However, when a scientist with a secret formula to create a nuclear chain reaction goes missing, Stryker is once again brought back into action. Soon after, he learns he is facing an old nemesis who is also interested in locating the scientist. Who's in it?  The movie stars Richard Egan , Dee Hartford, Al Hirt, Telly Savalas , Burgess Meredith and Tina Louise . Review: I originally watched Fanfare for a Death Scene about six years ago because I saw it had Tina Louise, and I had never seen the Gilligan's Island actress in a film role. I remembered not enjoying it all that much but couldn't remember the reasons. So, when I came across the film again this week, I decided to give it a second chance. My opinion was still the same. The best way to describe this made-for-TV movie is imagine James Bond as an American secret agent and with about h...

Synopsis: A killer in a bunny costume murders anyone he encounters while his partner in crime, Joe, disposes of the bodies by turning them into jerky for his convenience store. When a group of women go hiking in the nearby woods, they become the Bunnyman and Joe’s latest targets and must find a way to escape before they are raped, tortured and killed by the pair. Who's in it? The movie stars David Scott, Joshua Lang, Marshal Hilton, Heather Daley, Kate Bowen, Stefanie Estes and Julianne Dowler. Review: One of the main reasons I am a fan of slasher movies is even the bad ones usually prove to be reasonably entertaining, even if it's in a comical way. As a result of that, when I came across The Bunnyman Massacre, I figured it would fall into that category. Unfortunately, I was wrong. This is just a terrible film, even for the genre. To be fair, this film is a sequel to the 2011 movie Bunnyman which I have not seen. I did take that into account when I watched this movie and di...

Synopsis: Two down-on-their-luck friends, Washington and Jefferson, fleece a pair of rich men at a game of dice and with more money than they've ever seen, they visit a club run by Dr. Brutus Blake. Another run of good luck at dice results in the pair winning the club, which they later learn is haunted by the relatives that Blake inherited it from. Who's in it? The movie stars Mantan Moreland , F. E. Miller, Maceo Bruce Sheffield, Florence O'Brien and Arthur Ray. Review: I was a bit undecided about watching Lucky Ghost because I was concerned an all-Black comedy made in the 1940s would focus too much on stereotypes and leave me feeling a lot more uncomfortable than entertained. However, I ended up giving it a shot and, for the most part, it wound up being better than expected. The pair of Washington (Moreland) and Jefferson (Miller) reminded me a bit of Abbott and Costello, with Washington in the Costello role of always accidentally himself into trouble (and somehow bei...

Synopsis: When crazed killer Billy Lenz escapes the mental institution on Christmas Eve, he makes a path straight for his childhood home. Unfortunately for the sorority sisters of Delta Alpha Kappa, his former house is now their sorority house. With police assistance at least two hours away because of the heavily falling snow, they are forced to find a way to survive on their own. Who's in it?  The movie stars Katie Cassidy , Michelle Trachtenburg, Lacey Chabert , Robert Mann and Andrea Martin . Review: While there have been exceptions to the rule, I've found most horror movie remakes tend to fall flat when compared to the original. There are some, however, that are still better than others and I would put Black Christmas in that very specific category of not living up to the original but still being watchable. There were a couple things I found I liked about this movie. The main one was Mann's pretty convincing performance as the lunatic Billy Lenz. He had just the righ...

Synopsis: British citizen Victoria Barton travels with her older brother/guardian Johnny to Paris to see the World's Fair and the siblings check into two rooms at Hôtel de la Licorne. The next morning, Victoria wakes up and discovers both her brother and his hotel room are missing and the hotel's owners insist she arrived alone. With limited ability to speak French, she tries to find help, only to find none of the authorities will believe her without proof. Who's in it? The movie stars Jean Simmons, Dirk Bogarde, David Tomlinson, Honor Blackman and Cathleen Nesbitt. Review: I came across So Long at the Fair a couple weeks ago and thought the plot sounded intriguing enough to add to my library. I ended up watching it this morning and it proved to be an OK choice that ultimately left me wanting. The thing that intrigued me most about this movie was the somewhat complicated, albeit successful, attempt to gaslight Victoria (Simmons). It was unclear what the motive was. Whi...

Synopsis: Henry Frankenstein's son, Wolf, returns with his family to claim his inheritance and is quickly met with hostility from the villagers. When a half-crazed blacksmith, Ygor, reveals the creature still lives, Wolf decides to continue his father's experiments to redeem his family's now-forsaken name. However, while he is successful, he quickly learns the blacksmith has an ulterior motive for helping him. Who's in it?  The movie stars Boris Karloff , Bela Lugosi , Basil Rathbone , Lionel Atwill and Josephine Hutchinson. Review: I've seen this movie in the past but there are so few movies that star both Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi (not to mention Basil Rathbone and Lionel Atwill too) so, when I had an opportunity to re-watch it, I did. Overall, I have to say it was as good as I remembered. There are a couple things, in particular, I like about this film. The first is Basil Rathbone's performance as Wolf von Frankenstein. One of my biggest complaints abo...

Synopsis:  A 10-year-old Michael Myers is sent to a sanitarium after murdering a school bully, his older sister and her boyfriend. After Michael murders a nurse, his mother commits suicide, and he remains alone in the sanitarium for 15 years. An adult Michael then escapes and begins tracking down his baby sister, Angel, who, unbeknownst to her, was secretly adopted and is living under a new name, Laurie Strode.  Who’s in it? The movie stars Malcolm McDowell , Scout Taylor-Compton , Danielle Harris , Bill Moseley , Danny Trejo and Tyler Mane . Review : My wife and I originally saw this movie when it came out in theaters in 2007. I have since seen it a few more times and, while my overall opinion of the movie has changed a bit, I do still think it is one of the better horror movie remakes. This film does exactly what a remake should. It kept the same concept as the original, modernized it so a younger generation could relate and added enough original content to the film to mak...