Movie Review: Car 54, Where Are You? (1994)
Synopsis: Officer Gunther Toody takes a relaxed approach to police work, including looking the other way when it is a minor crime. When his long-time partner, Officer Leo Schnauzer, retires, he is assigned Francis Muldoon, a by-the-books police officer. Their opposite approaches both threaten their partnership and threaten to derail the department's attempt at protecting a key witness against a local crime lord.
Who's in it? The movie stars David Johansen, John C. McGinley, Fran Drescher, Daniel Baldwin Nipsey Russell and Rosie O'Donnell.
Review: Up until scrolling through one of my movie channels a couple days ago, I didn't even realize there was a movie version of Car 54, Where Are You? I watched quite a few episodes of that series (in re-runs) when I was younger and, while I had some doubts, I figured I'd give it a try this morning.
I've seen quite a few terrible comedies in my lifetime. I think this may have the first one to be bad enough to give me a headache.
This movie came out the same year The Naked Gun was winding up its original trilogy. While watching the film, I felt like maybe it was trying to capitalize on that but, at the same time, trying not to be too much like those films. Either way, this ended up being a very disorganized and unfunny mess.
One of the biggest problems with this movie is there's just too much going on without any real clear plot direction. The primary focus is the Odd Couple-like partnership of Toody (Johansen) and Muldoon (McGinley) that just felt unfocused. Instead of keeping it solely about the police work (which I think would have helped considerably), the movie shifts things to their personal lives - dating, marriage, etc.
As a result of that, what should have been the main plot, keeping the witness (Jeremy Piven) alive, became more of a secondary story. Muldoon and Toody aren't even put in charge of his safety until midway through (for reasons I still don't fully understand) and the main bad guy, Don Motti (Baldwin), isn't given enough screentime early on to establish him as anything more than a one-dimensional character.
Another thing that didn't help this movie is most of the primary characters are inept at their jobs, especially the members of the police department. I mean, what competent person would think allowing Nathan's Hotdogs to deliver food directly to prisoners in their cells is even remotely a good idea? That seems like a security risk to me, even if you're not trying to protect a vital witness. Meanwhile, the few people who don't fall into this category, like Motti and Toody's wife, Lucille (O'Donnell) once again aren't given enough to do (and O'Donnell, who received a Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actress had very little to work with dialog-wise).
Probably the only good thing I can say about this movie is it was great seeing Al Lewis (one of the stars of the television series) in an expanded cameo as Schnauzer. Him lying in a hospital bed watching re-runs of The Munsters was a nice touch. Maybe the movie would have been more watchable had he been given a larger role and more screen time (though that would probably be a long shot).
Final Opinion: There's no way to sugar coat this. It is a terrible movie that does the opposite of honoring a classic television series. It probably should have never been made.
My Grade: F
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Here are some reviews of other films inspired by a television series:
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