Movie Review: Spider in the Attic (2021)
Synopsis: With her true crime radio program losing ratings due to a new time slot, Linda Buxton seeks to save her job by re-inventing the program. She starts by visiting a remote home owned by a scientist reportedly conducting unethical genetic experiments started by the Nazis. When she and her daughters arrive at the house, they discover the scientist has been killed by deadly alien spiders.
Who's in it? The movie stars Nicola Wright, Sarah Alexandra Marks, Danielle Scott, Chelsea Greenwood and Kate Sandison.
Review: My wife borrowed this movie from her brother several days ago and I was hesitant to watch it because it sounded a bit too much like every other killer spider movie we've seen. We finally got around to watching it yesterday evening and it turns out I was wrong, it was considerably worse than every other killer spider movie we've seen.
This movie was so terrible, I'm not even sure where to begin. As I mentioned to my wife, it reminded me of a Doctor Who episode from the 1980s, both from the weak dialog and the cheesy special effects that look like they are from 30-40 years ago, not 2021.
It didn't help that the characters in this movie weren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the box. For one, who brings an extremely pregnant woman (Greenwood) to a remote house in the middle of nowhere? It's not like she was going to be of any help, even if things had worked out as planned and it had been a simple interview. Frankly, I'm not even sure why Linda (Wright) brought her other daughter (Marks) with her for that exact same reason.
Then, when they found the spiders, they insisted on staying in the house for some reason. Umm...did you not see what they did to the previous owner? All they had to do was leave, call the authorities, and get the story when it was safer. Instead, they chose to explore the property, even when they knew the spiders were out hunting and had a pregnant woman who was in labor (because giving birth on a kitchen table in a spider-infested house was apparently a better choice than trying to get her to a hospital).
I also have to admit, I was more than a little confused by the spiders. The scientist's (Chris Cordell) notes made it seem like the alien spiders were parasites that needed a host to be born yet there were an awful lot of eggs around that house. I'm also more than a little confused where all the spiders came from since he started out with one in a cage and that spider at least seemed to still be captive when everyone else arrived. Maybe it all makes sense with a lot more consideration but I shouldn't have to think to hard with a film as simple as this one.
Final Opinion: I'm pretty sure I felt some of my brain cells melting while watching this film. Don't waste your time watching it.
My Grade: F
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